The first family to Q&A is the Dini family, who have become dear friends of mine through this group.
Tell us a little about your family
We are Tim and Amy Dini. We have 4 children: Taylor (15) Emily (12) Zachary (9) and Samuel (3) . Samuel was adopted through a special needs program in China. He came home September 2009.
How long have you attended PCC?
We have attended PCC for about 3 years now
What made you join True Vine?
I am totally passionate about adoption and helping others adopt. I feel that it is vital for adoptive parents to connect with one another as well as for adopted children to know others who have been adopted. The challenges of adoption for both the parents and the children are different than challenges with biological children and it is so important to have that support.
Tell us about your adoption story
God laid adoption on our hearts many years ago through our daughter Taylor. Taylor felt very strongly that we should adopt but we were in no position at that time. It was brought up every once in a while, but nothing serious. We felt our family was complete. Then, on Fathers day we ran into an old friend who had just returned home with their special needs daughter from China and we visited with them for a while. After that, God made it very apparent that this is where He wanted us to go. We couldn’t stop thinking about adoption and suddenly our family felt so very small. We went to an informational meeting and felt with complete certainty that this is what we needed to do. We prayed and talked and prayed some more, we were a family accustomed to special needs…we could do this. Our biggest obstacle was finances, but we, through much prayer, felt that if this is where God wanted us to bring home another child he would provide the way. He did in a Huge way!!
Why do feel so passionate about adoption?
My heart literally hurts to know that there are so many children in this world who don’t have a family to call their own and don’t know the love of Our Savior. I believe that so many more children would find their forever homes if more families would listen to God's call and step out in faith.
What has been the most rewarding part of adopting?
To just see the wonder in Sammy's eyes every day. To hear him pray and say "Thank you Jesus" at the end. To have been able to witness in a real way to our biological children about God's love and provision.
What made you decide to adopt a toddler/preschooler vs a baby?
We decided on a toddler since our children were older. I honestly like my sleep and didn’t want to go back to the baby stage. I am amazed at the way he has adapted and how much he has learned just being home 5 months.
How did you pick China as the country to adopt from?
Tim and I always felt pulled toward China. We had talked about adopting for many years and when we finally made a decision to take our leap of faith, we just looked at each other and said "China right?"
What is it like in China?
China was an amazing country. Honestly I could have stayed there so much longer. It was such a contradiction in everything. People rode scooters and bikes or BMW's There were all these people in tiny run down apartments, but shopping malls galore. Such an interesting comparison of the "haves" and "have nots". We were amazed by the sheer number of people and lack of personal space, but they were all so friendly to us. I cannot wait to go back!
What is it like to have a transracial family?
It is interesting being a transracial family. We get lots of stares and questions. It can be disconcerting, but also allows for people to ask questions if they are interested in adopting. We celebrate our holidays but try to include the Chinese ones as well. We all have learned about other cultures and the unimportance of the color of one's skin.
How have your other children adjusted to Sammy?
The other kids have adjusted beautifully. Of course, they get jealous sometimes over the attention he demands/requires, they all love him SO much and are constantly catering to him (sometimes too much!)
What has been the most difficult part of the adoption process?
The most difficult part was the wait. The wait is HARD. Especially when you know that your child is sick or missing holidays, birthdays, ect. It was so very difficult, since we had pictures of our son since the beginning. Watching him grow up in pictures, without being able to hold him or love him was one of the most difficult things I have done in my life.
What has been the most difficult part of transitioning Sammy?
Going back to a busy busy toddler :-) Actually Sammy transitioned to our busy household well, he bonded to us quickly but needed (and still needs) a lot of reassurance from Tim that Tim still loved him no matter what. It is uncommon for them to see a lot of men at the orphanage so Tim was more of an unknown to him.
Is it different parenting an adopted child than parenting your biological children?
So far it isnt very different. We had some language issues, but other than that, he is only 3. I see us having more challenges as he gets older.
Did others influence you to adopt?
Yes, our friends who had adopted in the special needs program from China. It made us realize that normal middle class families can afford adoption and that it isn’t unrealistic.
How did you know adoption was the right choice for your family?
Through lots of prayer and family discussions. God had laid it on our hearts as well as Taylor's. Em and Zach were thrilled just to have another sibling…they didn’t really care if the sibling was adopted or not, from China or US or Russia or where ever, it didn’t matter in the slightest to them..which is such a beautiful thing to me
How did you fund your adoption?
Wow...adoption funding. I am still not sure how we did it. We were the family Sara mentioned that started with just 300 dollars. We prayed, saved, worked and God provided. We held raffles, sold things, slashed our budget. We wrote many many grant applications. God provided every step of the way. Our friends and family were SO supportive participating in fundraising, donating airline and hotel miles. At the end we were still very short and we recieved a large donation from someone we didnt even know other than via email, for the exact amount we needed to travel. God funded our adoption and it was amazing to be able to watch it all come together.
If you could influence others to adopt, what would you say?
I would say if you feel that God is leading you in that direction, find out all you can and open your heart. It isn’t as complicated as you think, nor is it out of reach for a “typical” family. It is such an amazing blessing to grow your family through adoption but it isn’t right for everyone. The only way to be sure is through knowledge and prayer.
How have you become more involved in the True Vine ministry?
I am still trying to find my “niche” in the True Vine ministry. I am on the leadership team and the garage sale team, as well as willing to help out with Smooth Transitions (helping families smoothly transition after bringing their child home). I was in the process of leaving for China when True Vine began and we needed time to adjust once we came home. I love helping in whatever way that I can for True Vine.
Anything else you would like to add?
I think that forming a family through adoption is one of the most incredible ways you can build a family. My encouragement for all those pre-adoptive parents is to research and ask questions. There is TONS of info on the internet. Find a group on yahoo pertaining to where your child is at, research attachment and bonding, especially with an older child. Don’t be afraid to ask your adoption agency questions and ask other adoptive parents. Dossiers are complicated and the process is as well. The knowledge you will gain will help you feel better and more in control. Know that you aren’t in control, God is. His timing is perfect…always.
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