This article was written by Laura Williams for information about starting an adoption ministry at your church so felt it would be good to share:
You and I have been given much. We have every comfort imaginable. I can sit in my warm home, eating whatever I want, while planning my family’s weekend adventures. The Word says that for those who have been given much, much will be required.
In 2010 there were 45 million orphans world wide. Combining the total population of New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago wouldn’t even equal half that amount, so you’d have to add in the population of the countries of Haiti, Portugal, Kuwait, and Switzerland! Can you imagine this many orphans with no comforts of a family? Many are hungry. Many will not be able to make one decision for themselves, let alone ever think about what to do with their families on a Friday night.
Today there are 45 million orphans … minus ONE. That one child is my beautiful Bella Mei. We brought her home from China a little more than a year ago. But this article isn’t about my adoption. It’s about how God is using my church to help the orphans and how God can use your church, too (see James 1:27).
True Vine Ministries, launched in the spring of 2009 at Pathway Community Church, followed the eight steps detailed in “Launching an Orphans Ministry in Your Church” by Hope for Orphans. The first step was easy enough for me and would be for you too—approach a key leader with your vision. This isn’t too hard when you’re married to the pastor! The next steps include inviting other passionate families to join you in prayer, dreaming together, planning and developing a leadership structure.
The first six months, my church followed the advice provided by Hope for Orphans and then launched the orphan ministry in November 2009. It has been exciting to see the church community step up as they become more aware of the needs of orphans. God has used True Vine Ministries to …
develop a small group to help families who are considering adoption or already in the process;
hold a community garage sale with proceeds benefitting adopting families;
host socials to help adoptive families connect with each other;
organize a “free family fun night” at the YMCA for all adoptive and foster care families in our county;
collect and send shoes to orphans in our community and around the world;
partner with Life Song to provide matching grants for adopting families.
If you think about it, adoption and foster care offer a child much more than a warm home on this earth. These are opportunities to give her the hope of eternal life, to share with him the love and peace that only comes from the one true God!
God has placed you in an optimal position to start an orphan ministry in your church. You can tailor it to match your community and delegate all you want. You can make a difference. Your church can say, “There are 45 million orphans … minus TWO!”
We exist to impact future generations by reaching out to orphaned children and loving them as God has loved us.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Fall Event
For Adoptive or soon to be Adoptive Parents!
This will be a great time for adults to connect around a fire pit with a bowl of warm Chili!
Saturday, Oct 23th, 7:00 PM at the home of David and Angie Donaldson 4525 Denali Cove Fort Wayne, IN 46845
Drinks, and paper products will be provided. Please bring lawn chairs and one of the following: A-L Side Dish and M-Z Dessert.
Please RSVP to Angie Donaldson don5ftw@msn.com
This will be a great time for adults to connect around a fire pit with a bowl of warm Chili!
Saturday, Oct 23th, 7:00 PM at the home of David and Angie Donaldson 4525 Denali Cove Fort Wayne, IN 46845
Drinks, and paper products will be provided. Please bring lawn chairs and one of the following: A-L Side Dish and M-Z Dessert.
Please RSVP to Angie Donaldson don5ftw@msn.com
Saturday, August 28, 2010
5000 Foot Wall
Please help donate shoes for orphans by donating a new or like new pair of shoe(s) the weekends of August 28/29, Sept 4/5, and Sept 11/12. Bring them to PCC during service and you will be directed where to place them. Imagine if we can help put shoes on 2500 children's' feet!!
Read this article from the newspaper for more details
Read this article from the newspaper for more details
A Night With the Chapman's
A Night with the Chapmans:
Join us for a special night of music and hope with Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as part of the Star 88.3 Adoption Celebration, Saturday October 2 at First Assembly of God on Washington Center Road in Fort Wayne. You can order tickets here right now!
What a fun way to celebrate adoption!!!
Join us for a special night of music and hope with Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as part of the Star 88.3 Adoption Celebration, Saturday October 2 at First Assembly of God on Washington Center Road in Fort Wayne. You can order tickets here right now!
What a fun way to celebrate adoption!!!
Beyond Consequences Conference
Wanted to let you know of a great opportunity available to us, coming in just a few weeks. Heather Forbes, LCSW, will be at Fellowship Church for a one day training on Saturday, Sept. 11, 9:00-4:00. Heather is a nationally recognized speaker/author/therapist specializing in children who often express themselves through difficult behavior. We are honored to have her in our community! Heather's approach has proven to be life changing for many in our Foster Adoption Ministry community as they have attended a conference, participated in a webinar, or studied her book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control.
The admission ticket for the event is Heather’s book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, which can be purchased the morning of the conference or feel free to contact Susan Bowden 414-0854 (director of FAM ministries).
If you want more information, click on this link to learn more about the conference
The admission ticket for the event is Heather’s book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, which can be purchased the morning of the conference or feel free to contact Susan Bowden 414-0854 (director of FAM ministries).
If you want more information, click on this link to learn more about the conference
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Letter To Family and Friends
I know when we started our adoption journey, we wrote a simple letter, explaining why we were adopting and stats about Guatemala. It opened the door for communication and allowed us to explain before others jumped to conclusions.
Another family at PCC recently started their adoption journey and shared their letter. With their permission, I am posting it. I think it is great example how to educate family and friends on the front end.
Friends and Family,
On July 14th we officially submitted our application to Holt International to begin the adoption process! We will be adopting an infant girl (typically around 6-8 months old) from the country of Ethiopia in Africa. We couldn’t be more excited, but Ashley and I wanted to write to let everyone know of our intentions and also answer many questions that you
may have.
Why Adoption, and Why Now?
Ashley and I have known that orphan ministry was going to be a big part of our life for many years. I felt this call very strongly while on a mission trip in the Czech Republic during my time at Taylor University. During the mission trip we spent a month visiting orphanages, trying to show these children love that they desperately needed and deserved. Ashley and I have continued in this passion over the years through supporting a child with Compassion International as well as helping with the orphan ministry within our church, called Truevine.
Our plan was to have several children the more traditional way and then proceed with international adoption. Many of you know that Ashley has been diagnosed with chronic headaches in the last couple of years - forcing her to be on some medications that she couldn’t take if she were pregnant. Could she still go through a pregnancy and simply be in pain for nine months? Yes. As her husband, I know without a shadow of a doubt she is “tough” enough. The question that has really challenged us recently is - Are we fighting God’s plan for our family?
Over the past several months, Ashley and I have been asking God to break our hearts for the things that break His, to challenge us to step away from the ordinary and to open our hearts, hands and abundance to God’s calling for our growing family. Through this process our eyes were opened and our hearts broken for the millions of orphans worldwide. As we researched and prayed, we began to feel God lead us towards Ethiopia to adopt an orphan and make her our own.
Why Ethiopia?
A few statistics about Ethiopia that point to the enormous problem that this country is facing (as a side note: this is also true of many countries in Africa)
Another family at PCC recently started their adoption journey and shared their letter. With their permission, I am posting it. I think it is great example how to educate family and friends on the front end.
Friends and Family,
On July 14th we officially submitted our application to Holt International to begin the adoption process! We will be adopting an infant girl (typically around 6-8 months old) from the country of Ethiopia in Africa. We couldn’t be more excited, but Ashley and I wanted to write to let everyone know of our intentions and also answer many questions that you
may have.
Why Adoption, and Why Now?
Ashley and I have known that orphan ministry was going to be a big part of our life for many years. I felt this call very strongly while on a mission trip in the Czech Republic during my time at Taylor University. During the mission trip we spent a month visiting orphanages, trying to show these children love that they desperately needed and deserved. Ashley and I have continued in this passion over the years through supporting a child with Compassion International as well as helping with the orphan ministry within our church, called Truevine.
Our plan was to have several children the more traditional way and then proceed with international adoption. Many of you know that Ashley has been diagnosed with chronic headaches in the last couple of years - forcing her to be on some medications that she couldn’t take if she were pregnant. Could she still go through a pregnancy and simply be in pain for nine months? Yes. As her husband, I know without a shadow of a doubt she is “tough” enough. The question that has really challenged us recently is - Are we fighting God’s plan for our family?
Over the past several months, Ashley and I have been asking God to break our hearts for the things that break His, to challenge us to step away from the ordinary and to open our hearts, hands and abundance to God’s calling for our growing family. Through this process our eyes were opened and our hearts broken for the millions of orphans worldwide. As we researched and prayed, we began to feel God lead us towards Ethiopia to adopt an orphan and make her our own.
Why Ethiopia?
A few statistics about Ethiopia that point to the enormous problem that this country is facing (as a side note: this is also true of many countries in Africa)
There are nearly 6 million orphans in Ethiopia, a country with a population of only 80 million people.
To put that in perspective:
7.50% of Ethiopian population is an orphaned child
0.16% of the U.S. population is an orphaned child (likely in foster care)
50% of the children will never attend school.
88% will never attend secondary school.
One in ten children dies before their first birthday.
51% of children under the age of 5 are suffering from moderate to severe stunting due to lack of nutrition
up to 20% of the population are not able to eat even once a day
26% of the population live on less than 1 dollar per day and 81% live on less than two dollars a day
40% of children sleep on the floor, where nighttime temperatures average 5 degrees Celsius in the cold season
The average life expectancy is 48 years old.
The median age of the population is 16 years old, meaning that 50% of the population is less than 16 years old.
There is 1 medical doctor per 100,000 people.
For comparison, in the US there are 300 medical doctors per 100,000 people
In sub-Saharan Africa, one in six households with children is caring for at least one orphan. Yet this still leaves
millions of children who are left in the care of strangers — or with no one
Why Write This Letter?
I believe there are four reasons that we wanted to write this letter:
1. The first reason is simply to inform our family and friends of our journey and our excitement. We don’t get to see you all as often as we’d like, and we knew that to share the whole story with everyone would have to be through a letter.
2. The second is hoping that many of you will partner with us in excitement, prayer, and emotional support. The process will take some time (12 months - give or take), and we know there will be emotional ups and downs.
Having the support of our family and friends will help us through this process. We plan to keep our blog updated often.
3. The third reason is to give everyone the green light to ask us questions or to learn more about our adoption process and the questions/concerns you may have. We realize that there are many stereotypes and preconceived notions
regarding adoption, but we are trusting God’s leading to guide us through the challenges.
4. The fourth and most important reason is we hope to inform and influence others to be passionate about the fact that as Rick Warren states, “Orphans and vulnerable children are not a cause, they are a Biblical mandate and a
social mandate that we cannot ignore.” We would love nothing more than to influence families to help 100 other children to be adopted into forever families, and countless more orphans helped and ministered to in different
ways. If you know anyone considering adoption or interested in orphan ministry, we would love to walk along side of them.
I would encourage you to go to this family’s website: http://vogeltanzfamily.com/adoption-faq/ Near the top of the page
they have a video detailing their Ethiopian adoption that was incredibly powerful for Ashley and I, and then after the video they have more answers to FAQ’s that you may have. The video hit so close to home for us.
We’ll have plenty more to come on our blog. More cultural information about Ethiopia, stats about adoption, updates on where we are in the process, various quotes, verses, and other random items should show up on the blog as we plan to update it fairly regularly. http://thebakercrew.blogspot.com/
Thank you all for your love and support. We’re so thankful for our great friends and family!
God Bless,
Drew, Ashley, and Evan Baker
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
20 Questions - Niles family
Maybe there are some questions you'd like to ask or are curious about something, and this is the time. Feel free to click on "comments" under the post and list a question or you can email me and I will forward on the question saramicheleallen@hotmail.com
Tell us a little about your family?
Mark was raised in Fort Wayne. Christine moved here in 1994, and we met a couple of years later. We were married in 1998, and spent the first eight years working, traveling, scuba diving. In the spring of 2006, we saw a newspaper article about a program that brings groups of orphans from Ukraine to the US for 2-3 week visits. The program was looking for homes that could host one or more kids, and it looked “interesting” to us. Little did we know that this would change our lives… As a result of this program, we traveled to Ukraine in the summer of 2007 to adopt Masha, who was then 12. While we were there, we met Lena and fell in love. After 2 ½ years of paperwork and delays, we were invited to travel to Ukraine again just after her 14th birthday for her adoption, and we became a family of four last January!
How long have you attended PCC?
We moved to PCC from Fellowship Missionary shortly after PCC formed in early 2002(??)
What made you join True Vine?
Since our lives have been transformed by adoption, God has really placed a burden on our hearts to find creative ways to care for the fatherless and to support other families in their adoption journeys. True Vine is a great example of how God uses each of our passions and strengths for the good of His family!
Tell us about your adoption stories
I could go on for pages and pages, and the theme always comes back to trusting God. With our first adoption, we weren’t even planning to adopt, and God really hit us on the head with a 2x4. He just kept clearing the way for us and overcoming our own objections to the adoption before we even had them…We were so blessed to have a smooth 9-month process with very few challenges at a time when so many people had long delays with Ukraine. We met Masha in August 2006, traveled to her orphanage in Ukraine the following May, and returned home with her in June 2007. Our second adoption stretched us a little more. When we met Lena in May 2007, she was not eligible for adoption. We still fell in love with her and committed to find ways to love and encourage her while respecting her situation and the culture and laws of Ukraine. We had an opportunity to bring her to the US for a 2-week hosting program in the summer of 2008. Even though she was still not adoptable, we knew the experience would provide her with a unique sense of hope and encouragement. God proved His faithfulness again, and on the final day of her visit with us, we all received the news that her documentation had been approved and that she would be placed on the “registry” in Ukraine. This meant that she would be eligible for international adoption in a little over a year.
Did others influence you to adopt?
No. At the time we started our adoption journey, we really didn’t know anyone else who had gone through this process, and didn’t have any real support structure. We started talking to anyone that would listen about what we were doing, and it was amazing how quickly we discovered people who had connections to the adoption community who were then able to encourage and advise us!
Why do you feel so passionate about adoption?
Our passion for adoption continues to grow because our lives have just been so changed and blessed by these girls. Our hearts break for the many, many children that are still without families.
What has been the most rewarding part of adopting?
We’re blessed in that we have been able to provide a safe healing environment for two girls who have suffered great losses. We hope we’re helping them learn that they have hope and opportunities for their futures and that we’re guiding them in setting goals and making wise choices. But at the end of the day, our biggest reward is when we see them hug, or hear them talking and giggling after lights-out…they are truly sisters and we are blessed.
What made you decide to adopt older children?
It may sound horrible, but I (Christine) have never been very comfortable with small kids—they kind of scare me! Older kids (especially girls) bring with them a whole different set of challenges, but I feel much better equipped to relate to the girls and be their mom.
What things do you do to promote attachment with an older child?
Spend time with them and listen!! In the early teen years, they are naturally moving toward individuating…growing into their own individual personalities and becoming more independent. Building attachment at this age is a tricky balance, but the most important thing we’ve learned is to recognize them as people, to listen and understand them, to accept and love every part of them, and to continue to love them as they make mistakes.
Were you scared to adopt, 'jumping in' at age 12 and how did you deal with this?
Oddly, not really. Everyone says we’re crazy, but throughout both adoptions we felt a total peace that this is how our family was meant to come together. We certainly had questions, but as our journey progressed we met many adoptive parents of older kids both in Fort Wayne and through online communities. They shared their successes and challenges, and we were able to learn a lot from them. In addition, we read lots of books about attachment and teen psychology that really helped!
How did you pick Ukraine as the country to adopt from?
If we had started our adoption journey from the beginning and tried to make plans for ourselves, we may have ended up in a different country…but God’s plans were a little bit different for us. As I mentioned earlier, we met Masha through a hosting program and we met Lena when we were there. We knew they were meant to be our daughters, and Ukraine is where they happened to live.
Did you have people try to dissuade you from adopting and how did you handle this?
We did have a few people that insisted on telling us how crazy we were, or who asked why we didn’t want a baby. One family member sat down at Thanksgiving and not so kindly explained that we not only had no clue what we were getting ourselves into, but that we really had no chance of this being a success. While it was difficult, we just kind of nodded and listened, and then totally ignored them! We learned that most of those comments were coming from a place of personal issues or challenges, and not from any judgment of us. As a result, we learned to listen politely and then just ignore them and take joy in the supportive people we chose to keep close to us.
What is it like in Ukraine?
Ukraine is a very proud country. Despite living under Soviet rule for generations, Ukraine has held tight to its own culture and language and is now fighting hard to rebuild their independent economy. Throughout the country, people typically speak both Russian and Ukrainian. Everyday things—TV, billboards, items in the grocery—are generally in Russian, while government and legal documentation is all in Ukrainian. The rural areas of Ukraine remain more under the Soviet influence, and most cities are populated with soviet-style apartment blocks, but also have ample shopping and restaurants. Modern cars (GM, VW, Honda) mix with older Soviet cars on the streets. Cell phone coverage is great in all but the most remote areas. Ukraine is farther south than most people think, between Russia and the Black Sea, and their climate is very similar to ours. People are much more publicly reserved than in America—no one smiles or makes eye contact in the street or shops, and no one says “excuse me” when they bump into you on the train. But they open up when there’s some kind of personal connection, and in social situations, they are warm, funny, and extremely hospitable.
Explain the process to adopt in Ukraine?
Ukraine is very unusual in that it’s a “blind referral” country. This is to protect children and adoptive families from corruption, but it makes for a very unusual process that many adoptive parents don’t understand. In Ukraine, all referrals (matching of families with children) are granted by a single governmental agency, the State Department of Adoption (SDA). All other ways of finding a child (hosting, photolisting, etc) are technically illegal. While a family can (and we did) request a referral for a “known” child, it is illegal for an orphanage or any other party to “hold” that child for a specific family.
As with any international adoption, the process begins with a home study and approval from the US Immigration authorities (USCIS), then the Ukrainian dossier is compiled, translated, and submitted to the SDA. This can take as little as 8 weeks or as long as several months, depending on the age of the child(ren) and how aggressive and organized the parents are.
Once the dossier is submitted, the parents wait for an invitation to meet in-person with the SDA in Kiev to receive their referral. In typical cases, the SDA works to identify 2-3 children who appear to be a good match for the family, reviews those children’s files with the both parents during the appointment, and then the family chooses a child to meet. Our meetings were a little shorter; we only reviewed the one file for each of our girls.
After this meeting, the family receives official documents permitting them to travel to the child’s orphanage and meet them. After meeting the child and agreeing to move forward, the parents file documents signaling their intent to adopt. Again, as a blind-referral country, it is impossible to prepare or process anything for the local adoption of the child before meeting the child, so this is the start of the local adoption process. For typical Ukrainian families, it can take several weeks or months to get the local adoption hearing, but most international adoption processes take about 2-3 weeks, during which many documents are prepared and shuffled back and forth between the local lawyers, notaries, courthouse, and the SDA in Kiev. Both parents are required to remain in the local region, and frequent trips to the notary are common!
After the court hearing where the adoption is approved by the local courts, there is a mandatory 10-business-day appeal period before the adoption is final and the family can take custody of the child. Unlike former times, this is NEVER waived, and many families return to the US at this point. After the waiting period, it’s possible for just one parent to go back to Ukraine to pick up the child. This second trip is typically about a week and during this time, a new birth certificate and passport are issued, and the child is taken to the US Embassy and issued an entry visa which grants them US citizenship upon landing in the US.
What has been the most difficult part of the adoption process?
The most difficult part was remaining patient and trusting God’s timing through the uncertain times where the next step was out of our hands.
What has been the most difficult part of transitioning your girls?
We have been blessed that neither of our girls have significant attachment issues, so for us, the biggest challenges have been cultural. In Ukraine, the culture is highly focused on appearances and money, and fashion is very important to most women. It has taken time for the girls to understand the American perceptions associated with what they consider “fashionable” and to adapt to a more modest style of dress.
How did you know adoption was the right choice for your family?
For us, there was never really any question...before Masha arrived for her hosting program, we prayed regularly for God to make His plan for her clear in our hearts, and He answered with an incredible peace for both of us about the decision.
If you could influence others to adopt, what would you say?
God builds families in so many ways; we would advise families to pray and listen closely for His clear guidance, trust in Him and not be swayed by individual stories (good or bad). On a more practical level, we would remind parents who are fearful of the challenges with raising adopted kids that there are no guarantees with “naturally-born” children, either, and that if you let Him, God will show you the way!
How have you become more involved in the True Vine ministry?
As part of the True Vine leadership team, we represent Pathway with the Fort Wayne Adoption Resource Group, which is working to connect the various adoption and orphan care groups in the city, and to organize adoption-oriented events such as speakers and parent forums. We also lead a small group for families who are in-process/waiting to adopt, and assist with True Vine events such as the garage sale.
Anything else you would like to add?
I think the most important thing is to have realistic expectations for yourself and for the child(ren)…don’t expect them to be perfect and grateful and obedient. First, they are kids, and second, they are kids that have been deeply wounded—for whatever reason, they have lost their birth family, which is something that most of us take for granted. In addition many of these kids have experienced poverty, neglect, or abuse that deeply influences their behavior. Be prepared to support and guide them, set boundaries and be consistent and compassionate in your discipline, seek out professional help before you think you need it, and know that your hard work, sleepless nights, and perseverance will be rewarded!
see their family blog right here
Tell us a little about your family?
Mark was raised in Fort Wayne. Christine moved here in 1994, and we met a couple of years later. We were married in 1998, and spent the first eight years working, traveling, scuba diving. In the spring of 2006, we saw a newspaper article about a program that brings groups of orphans from Ukraine to the US for 2-3 week visits. The program was looking for homes that could host one or more kids, and it looked “interesting” to us. Little did we know that this would change our lives… As a result of this program, we traveled to Ukraine in the summer of 2007 to adopt Masha, who was then 12. While we were there, we met Lena and fell in love. After 2 ½ years of paperwork and delays, we were invited to travel to Ukraine again just after her 14th birthday for her adoption, and we became a family of four last January!
How long have you attended PCC?
We moved to PCC from Fellowship Missionary shortly after PCC formed in early 2002(??)
What made you join True Vine?
Since our lives have been transformed by adoption, God has really placed a burden on our hearts to find creative ways to care for the fatherless and to support other families in their adoption journeys. True Vine is a great example of how God uses each of our passions and strengths for the good of His family!
Tell us about your adoption stories
I could go on for pages and pages, and the theme always comes back to trusting God. With our first adoption, we weren’t even planning to adopt, and God really hit us on the head with a 2x4. He just kept clearing the way for us and overcoming our own objections to the adoption before we even had them…We were so blessed to have a smooth 9-month process with very few challenges at a time when so many people had long delays with Ukraine. We met Masha in August 2006, traveled to her orphanage in Ukraine the following May, and returned home with her in June 2007. Our second adoption stretched us a little more. When we met Lena in May 2007, she was not eligible for adoption. We still fell in love with her and committed to find ways to love and encourage her while respecting her situation and the culture and laws of Ukraine. We had an opportunity to bring her to the US for a 2-week hosting program in the summer of 2008. Even though she was still not adoptable, we knew the experience would provide her with a unique sense of hope and encouragement. God proved His faithfulness again, and on the final day of her visit with us, we all received the news that her documentation had been approved and that she would be placed on the “registry” in Ukraine. This meant that she would be eligible for international adoption in a little over a year.
Did others influence you to adopt?
No. At the time we started our adoption journey, we really didn’t know anyone else who had gone through this process, and didn’t have any real support structure. We started talking to anyone that would listen about what we were doing, and it was amazing how quickly we discovered people who had connections to the adoption community who were then able to encourage and advise us!
Why do you feel so passionate about adoption?
Our passion for adoption continues to grow because our lives have just been so changed and blessed by these girls. Our hearts break for the many, many children that are still without families.
What has been the most rewarding part of adopting?
We’re blessed in that we have been able to provide a safe healing environment for two girls who have suffered great losses. We hope we’re helping them learn that they have hope and opportunities for their futures and that we’re guiding them in setting goals and making wise choices. But at the end of the day, our biggest reward is when we see them hug, or hear them talking and giggling after lights-out…they are truly sisters and we are blessed.
What made you decide to adopt older children?
It may sound horrible, but I (Christine) have never been very comfortable with small kids—they kind of scare me! Older kids (especially girls) bring with them a whole different set of challenges, but I feel much better equipped to relate to the girls and be their mom.
What things do you do to promote attachment with an older child?
Spend time with them and listen!! In the early teen years, they are naturally moving toward individuating…growing into their own individual personalities and becoming more independent. Building attachment at this age is a tricky balance, but the most important thing we’ve learned is to recognize them as people, to listen and understand them, to accept and love every part of them, and to continue to love them as they make mistakes.
Were you scared to adopt, 'jumping in' at age 12 and how did you deal with this?
Oddly, not really. Everyone says we’re crazy, but throughout both adoptions we felt a total peace that this is how our family was meant to come together. We certainly had questions, but as our journey progressed we met many adoptive parents of older kids both in Fort Wayne and through online communities. They shared their successes and challenges, and we were able to learn a lot from them. In addition, we read lots of books about attachment and teen psychology that really helped!
How did you pick Ukraine as the country to adopt from?
If we had started our adoption journey from the beginning and tried to make plans for ourselves, we may have ended up in a different country…but God’s plans were a little bit different for us. As I mentioned earlier, we met Masha through a hosting program and we met Lena when we were there. We knew they were meant to be our daughters, and Ukraine is where they happened to live.
Did you have people try to dissuade you from adopting and how did you handle this?
We did have a few people that insisted on telling us how crazy we were, or who asked why we didn’t want a baby. One family member sat down at Thanksgiving and not so kindly explained that we not only had no clue what we were getting ourselves into, but that we really had no chance of this being a success. While it was difficult, we just kind of nodded and listened, and then totally ignored them! We learned that most of those comments were coming from a place of personal issues or challenges, and not from any judgment of us. As a result, we learned to listen politely and then just ignore them and take joy in the supportive people we chose to keep close to us.
What is it like in Ukraine?
Ukraine is a very proud country. Despite living under Soviet rule for generations, Ukraine has held tight to its own culture and language and is now fighting hard to rebuild their independent economy. Throughout the country, people typically speak both Russian and Ukrainian. Everyday things—TV, billboards, items in the grocery—are generally in Russian, while government and legal documentation is all in Ukrainian. The rural areas of Ukraine remain more under the Soviet influence, and most cities are populated with soviet-style apartment blocks, but also have ample shopping and restaurants. Modern cars (GM, VW, Honda) mix with older Soviet cars on the streets. Cell phone coverage is great in all but the most remote areas. Ukraine is farther south than most people think, between Russia and the Black Sea, and their climate is very similar to ours. People are much more publicly reserved than in America—no one smiles or makes eye contact in the street or shops, and no one says “excuse me” when they bump into you on the train. But they open up when there’s some kind of personal connection, and in social situations, they are warm, funny, and extremely hospitable.
Explain the process to adopt in Ukraine?
Ukraine is very unusual in that it’s a “blind referral” country. This is to protect children and adoptive families from corruption, but it makes for a very unusual process that many adoptive parents don’t understand. In Ukraine, all referrals (matching of families with children) are granted by a single governmental agency, the State Department of Adoption (SDA). All other ways of finding a child (hosting, photolisting, etc) are technically illegal. While a family can (and we did) request a referral for a “known” child, it is illegal for an orphanage or any other party to “hold” that child for a specific family.
As with any international adoption, the process begins with a home study and approval from the US Immigration authorities (USCIS), then the Ukrainian dossier is compiled, translated, and submitted to the SDA. This can take as little as 8 weeks or as long as several months, depending on the age of the child(ren) and how aggressive and organized the parents are.
Once the dossier is submitted, the parents wait for an invitation to meet in-person with the SDA in Kiev to receive their referral. In typical cases, the SDA works to identify 2-3 children who appear to be a good match for the family, reviews those children’s files with the both parents during the appointment, and then the family chooses a child to meet. Our meetings were a little shorter; we only reviewed the one file for each of our girls.
After this meeting, the family receives official documents permitting them to travel to the child’s orphanage and meet them. After meeting the child and agreeing to move forward, the parents file documents signaling their intent to adopt. Again, as a blind-referral country, it is impossible to prepare or process anything for the local adoption of the child before meeting the child, so this is the start of the local adoption process. For typical Ukrainian families, it can take several weeks or months to get the local adoption hearing, but most international adoption processes take about 2-3 weeks, during which many documents are prepared and shuffled back and forth between the local lawyers, notaries, courthouse, and the SDA in Kiev. Both parents are required to remain in the local region, and frequent trips to the notary are common!
After the court hearing where the adoption is approved by the local courts, there is a mandatory 10-business-day appeal period before the adoption is final and the family can take custody of the child. Unlike former times, this is NEVER waived, and many families return to the US at this point. After the waiting period, it’s possible for just one parent to go back to Ukraine to pick up the child. This second trip is typically about a week and during this time, a new birth certificate and passport are issued, and the child is taken to the US Embassy and issued an entry visa which grants them US citizenship upon landing in the US.
What has been the most difficult part of the adoption process?
The most difficult part was remaining patient and trusting God’s timing through the uncertain times where the next step was out of our hands.
What has been the most difficult part of transitioning your girls?
We have been blessed that neither of our girls have significant attachment issues, so for us, the biggest challenges have been cultural. In Ukraine, the culture is highly focused on appearances and money, and fashion is very important to most women. It has taken time for the girls to understand the American perceptions associated with what they consider “fashionable” and to adapt to a more modest style of dress.
How did you know adoption was the right choice for your family?
For us, there was never really any question...before Masha arrived for her hosting program, we prayed regularly for God to make His plan for her clear in our hearts, and He answered with an incredible peace for both of us about the decision.
If you could influence others to adopt, what would you say?
God builds families in so many ways; we would advise families to pray and listen closely for His clear guidance, trust in Him and not be swayed by individual stories (good or bad). On a more practical level, we would remind parents who are fearful of the challenges with raising adopted kids that there are no guarantees with “naturally-born” children, either, and that if you let Him, God will show you the way!
How have you become more involved in the True Vine ministry?
As part of the True Vine leadership team, we represent Pathway with the Fort Wayne Adoption Resource Group, which is working to connect the various adoption and orphan care groups in the city, and to organize adoption-oriented events such as speakers and parent forums. We also lead a small group for families who are in-process/waiting to adopt, and assist with True Vine events such as the garage sale.
Anything else you would like to add?
I think the most important thing is to have realistic expectations for yourself and for the child(ren)…don’t expect them to be perfect and grateful and obedient. First, they are kids, and second, they are kids that have been deeply wounded—for whatever reason, they have lost their birth family, which is something that most of us take for granted. In addition many of these kids have experienced poverty, neglect, or abuse that deeply influences their behavior. Be prepared to support and guide them, set boundaries and be consistent and compassionate in your discipline, seek out professional help before you think you need it, and know that your hard work, sleepless nights, and perseverance will be rewarded!
see their family blog right here
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Beauty Of Adoption
This picture doesn't need words, yet there is so much to say. Those smiles say it all from where they have come from. Two children, born in Guatemala and China. Two children adopted into loving families. Two children who get to not only have basic needs met, but to experience growth from the stability of a family. Two children who are loved unconditionally. Two children who get experience what life has to offer. Two children who are adored by their parents and siblings. Two children who will grow up knowing God loves them and provided a way, as well as provide a way eternally. Thank you for the gift of adoption
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Congratulations
Congratulations to Laura and Ryan B in their domestic baby adoption. They adopted baby Mikayla on March 6th. Their story is amazing, as it happened in 1 week!!!
God has provided amazingly for this family and we celebrate this little one!!
God has provided amazingly for this family and we celebrate this little one!!
True Vine Events Coming Up
Just wanted to let you know about 4 things coming up related to True Vine:
1. We will be having the first Women's social for those in process, have adopted and those interested in adoption on Tuesday, May 18th @7pm. We will be having a meet and greet, to get to know each other better @ Barnes and Noble at Glenbrook. Amy Dini will be scheduling and planning these, so to RSVP, email dinifam@msn.com
2. May 21@ 7PM Stephanie Fast event (former orphan). Register at http://fort4thefatherless.org
3. The Heart Gallery will be in the atrium May 29/30 and June 5/6. This will have pictures and description of children that are foster to adopt. Whites will be on hand to answer questions related to foster and foster to adopt.
4. Sunday, June 6 @1 pm, we will have a True Vine Picnic at Buckner Park. Bring a blanket and your own picnic lunch and have fun with other adoptive families. The park is at 6411 BassRoad. It has restrooms, a splash pad (so bring a change of clothes or swimsuits for your kids), and two new playgrounds (one for ages 2-5 and one for ages 5-12).
1. We will be having the first Women's social for those in process, have adopted and those interested in adoption on Tuesday, May 18th @7pm. We will be having a meet and greet, to get to know each other better @ Barnes and Noble at Glenbrook. Amy Dini will be scheduling and planning these, so to RSVP, email dinifam@msn.com
2. May 21@ 7PM Stephanie Fast event (former orphan). Register at http://fort4thefatherless.org
3. The Heart Gallery will be in the atrium May 29/30 and June 5/6. This will have pictures and description of children that are foster to adopt. Whites will be on hand to answer questions related to foster and foster to adopt.
4. Sunday, June 6 @1 pm, we will have a True Vine Picnic at Buckner Park. Bring a blanket and your own picnic lunch and have fun with other adoptive families. The park is at 6411 BassRoad. It has restrooms, a splash pad (so bring a change of clothes or swimsuits for your kids), and two new playgrounds (one for ages 2-5 and one for ages 5-12).
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Garage Sale 2010
The Garage Sale Committee would like to give a sincere thank you to each and everyone of you who made it possible to raise money for orphans needing forever families. A big thank you to Steve Newman for use of the trailer! In addition, thanks for all the donations, countless hours of volunteers, flexibility and assistance from PCC staff, those who ran and donated to the bake sale, and use of equipment from outside churches.
It was amazing to see so many be the hands and feet of Jesus. We were able to witness others seeing a need and filling it, from feeding volunteers, buying more hangers, giving donations, borrowing tables, donating precious time setting the garage sale up and tearing it down, and helping to set the chairs back up. Many of you worked above and beyond what you originally planned and that was a blessing.
It would not have been possible without all of you! We were able to raise almost $8000 to go towards PCC families adopting. We look forward to this being an annual event and being able to partner with you next year! Save any donations for next year's garage sale. We will be creating a larger Garage Sale Committee in January, so stay tuned!!! Remember....those on the Committee get to buy first....
It was amazing to see so many be the hands and feet of Jesus. We were able to witness others seeing a need and filling it, from feeding volunteers, buying more hangers, giving donations, borrowing tables, donating precious time setting the garage sale up and tearing it down, and helping to set the chairs back up. Many of you worked above and beyond what you originally planned and that was a blessing.
It would not have been possible without all of you! We were able to raise almost $8000 to go towards PCC families adopting. We look forward to this being an annual event and being able to partner with you next year! Save any donations for next year's garage sale. We will be creating a larger Garage Sale Committee in January, so stay tuned!!! Remember....those on the Committee get to buy first....
tables
tables
racks and tables
more racks and tables!!
more stuff
AND more stuff!!!
sale is over...loading donations for charities
appreciating the last bit of help! Saturday, April 24, 2010
Garage Sale
Are you ready to support our ministry.....
HUGE
GARAGE SALE!!!
Pathway Community Church
What an easy way to support families who are adopting!
When:
Friday, April 30 8am-8pm
*Bake sale sponsored by PCC Student Ministries
Saturday, May 1 8am-12noon
*Half off large items and $1 bag sale
Where: Pathway Community Church
11910 Shearwater Run
(1 mile east of Carroll and Lima Road)
Rain or Shine! - Sale is inside church!
A few items we have for sale:
Furniture Clothing
Dressers Bicycles
Movies Antiques
CD’s Books
HUGE
GARAGE SALE!!!
Pathway Community Church
What an easy way to support families who are adopting!
When:
Friday, April 30 8am-8pm
*Bake sale sponsored by PCC Student Ministries
Saturday, May 1 8am-12noon
*Half off large items and $1 bag sale
Where: Pathway Community Church
11910 Shearwater Run
(1 mile east of Carroll and Lima Road)
Rain or Shine! - Sale is inside church!
A few items we have for sale:
Furniture Clothing
Dressers Bicycles
Movies Antiques
CD’s Books
Friday, March 26, 2010
Good News On Taxes
Good news for adoptive families from the health care bill just signed into law March, 2010. Included in the bill were favorable changes to the Adoption Tax Credit. Joint Council for International Children's Services summarize the changes as follows:
The maximum credit was increased from $12,150 to $13,170
The credit is extended through December, 2011.
The credit was made refundable. If a family has no tax liability, the IRS will refund the amount due.
Read the bill's text yourself click here. (The Adoption Tax Credit is mentioned on page 903 of the 906 page bill.)
info from ALP
The maximum credit was increased from $12,150 to $13,170
The credit is extended through December, 2011.
The credit was made refundable. If a family has no tax liability, the IRS will refund the amount due.
Read the bill's text yourself click here. (The Adoption Tax Credit is mentioned on page 903 of the 906 page bill.)
info from ALP
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sign Up To Help With Garage Sale This Weekend
Please plan to sign up this weekend at the kiosk in the atrium, after services to help with the garage sale for True Vine, benefitting families who are adopting.
We will need help: unloading the trailer, sorting items April 25-29 (morning, afternoon and evening times available), volunteer for security (off-duty police officer), help day of sale (on the floor, loading peoples vehicles, bagging items, totaling purchases) and clean-up (including some with trucks). Two hour shifts (or more) available. Volunteers will be given select time to purchase items from sale, prior to opening.
We need lots of help, so please sign up!!!
We will need help: unloading the trailer, sorting items April 25-29 (morning, afternoon and evening times available), volunteer for security (off-duty police officer), help day of sale (on the floor, loading peoples vehicles, bagging items, totaling purchases) and clean-up (including some with trucks). Two hour shifts (or more) available. Volunteers will be given select time to purchase items from sale, prior to opening.
We need lots of help, so please sign up!!!
Friday, March 12, 2010
A Family For Every Child
Laura gave me this article in Reader's Digest to read about a lady in Oregon who got frustrated with the foster care system and set out to find homes for these children. It is really cool thing she did.
Check out afamilyforeverychild.org to learn more
Check out afamilyforeverychild.org to learn more
Friday, March 5, 2010
Phillipine Summer Hosting Program
I received some information on hosting some children from the Philippines this summer, with the possibility of adopting them. If you are interested, please contact me and I can provide you with more information, as well as specifics on the children.
The way the Philippine hosting program works as follows:
1.Interested families are recruited. The first priority is for families who want to host and adopt. We will also want some back-up families and these can be just interested in hosting.
2.Profiles are generated for each of the families which include information on the number, age and gender of the child/children they want to host, plus any willingness to accept any kinds of medical or other issues.
3.Staff within the Inter-Country Adoption Board of the Philippines and various orphanages will be choosing children who are good candidates for the program.
4.Photos, case studies and medical information on each child proposed for the program will be sent to Hand In Hand.
5.The children are matched to the host families that seem the best fit for them.
The children for this camp will be children between 7 and 15 years old who are considered to be good candidates for international adoption, who are legally free for adoption, and who have a desire to be a part of a “forever family.” In addition to single children, there will be the possibility of a family choosing to host a sibling group. (there are 3 sibling sets)
The children will stay in the U.S. for a 3-4 week period and then return to the Philippines. Families who choose to adopt their host child or children will then submit a complete dossier to the Inter-Country Adoption Board requesting to adopt that specific child.
Host/adopt families will need to be finished with home studies before the children come, so that after the children’s departure little time is needed to prepare the dossiers for submission to the Philippines. (If a family decides not to adopt the child they hosted, we can continue to build and submit their dossier to the Philippines for a match through the regular adoption process.) We also want families to have their first Immigration filing initiated before the children arrive, since it is a lengthy process. (This too will apply to the adoption of a child through the hosting program, or through a regular adoption process
The camp is to be July 10 to August 10 and families who participate must have their home studies done before the children arrive. There is more information on complete case studies, photos, medicals and psychological evaluations on all of the potential children.
The way the Philippine hosting program works as follows:
1.Interested families are recruited. The first priority is for families who want to host and adopt. We will also want some back-up families and these can be just interested in hosting.
2.Profiles are generated for each of the families which include information on the number, age and gender of the child/children they want to host, plus any willingness to accept any kinds of medical or other issues.
3.Staff within the Inter-Country Adoption Board of the Philippines and various orphanages will be choosing children who are good candidates for the program.
4.Photos, case studies and medical information on each child proposed for the program will be sent to Hand In Hand.
5.The children are matched to the host families that seem the best fit for them.
The children for this camp will be children between 7 and 15 years old who are considered to be good candidates for international adoption, who are legally free for adoption, and who have a desire to be a part of a “forever family.” In addition to single children, there will be the possibility of a family choosing to host a sibling group. (there are 3 sibling sets)
The children will stay in the U.S. for a 3-4 week period and then return to the Philippines. Families who choose to adopt their host child or children will then submit a complete dossier to the Inter-Country Adoption Board requesting to adopt that specific child.
Host/adopt families will need to be finished with home studies before the children come, so that after the children’s departure little time is needed to prepare the dossiers for submission to the Philippines. (If a family decides not to adopt the child they hosted, we can continue to build and submit their dossier to the Philippines for a match through the regular adoption process.) We also want families to have their first Immigration filing initiated before the children arrive, since it is a lengthy process. (This too will apply to the adoption of a child through the hosting program, or through a regular adoption process
The camp is to be July 10 to August 10 and families who participate must have their home studies done before the children arrive. There is more information on complete case studies, photos, medicals and psychological evaluations on all of the potential children.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
True Vine Garage Sale
PATHWAY COMMUNITY CHURCH GARAGE SALE, benefitting families who are adopting
Friday, April 30 from 8am-8pm and Saturday, May 1 from 8am-12noon
11910 Shearwater Run, Fort Wayne, IN 46845
EARLY STORAGE NOW AVAILABLE!!!!
We will collect your gently used items March 6,7, 20 and 21 after services. In addition, we will collect 2 weekends in April. Look for the trailer on the church parking lot. We will have volunteers collecting items.
*We will need volunteers April 25-29 to help sort and price, as well as working the garage sale and clean-up on April 30 and May 1. We will be having a sign-up sheet for volunteers on March 27 and March 28 in the church atrium.
WHAT A GREAT WAY TO HELP AN ORPHAN JOIN A FOREVER FAMILY!!
Friday, April 30 from 8am-8pm and Saturday, May 1 from 8am-12noon
11910 Shearwater Run, Fort Wayne, IN 46845
EARLY STORAGE NOW AVAILABLE!!!!
We will collect your gently used items March 6,7, 20 and 21 after services. In addition, we will collect 2 weekends in April. Look for the trailer on the church parking lot. We will have volunteers collecting items.
*We will need volunteers April 25-29 to help sort and price, as well as working the garage sale and clean-up on April 30 and May 1. We will be having a sign-up sheet for volunteers on March 27 and March 28 in the church atrium.
WHAT A GREAT WAY TO HELP AN ORPHAN JOIN A FOREVER FAMILY!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Fort4thefatherless and Guest Speaker
Thought you would want to know about an important event in Fort Wayne, focused on the needs of orphans. Check out the website for fort4thefatherless. It is a way to bring Fort Wayne churches together for orphans.
On May 21, there will be a powerful speaker who once was an orphan herself. This is a FREE event, but you have to register on the website.
No Longer Alone: An Evening with Stephanie Fast
Emmanuel Community Church
12222 U.S. 24, Fort Wayne, IN 46814-7472
Friday, May 21, 2010
7PM – 8:30PM
A little more background on the speaker:
*Mother – Korean
*Father – American GI
*Stephanie – born in 1955 in post-war Korea
*As a bi-racial child, she was left on the streets by her mother at the age of 4.
*Beaten, abused, thrown in a well, tied to a water-wheel to drown her, etc.
*On the streets for 3 years
*Survived on rodents, insects, stealing…
*Caught by farmers for stealing and was thrown in a bombed out building to die. The building was full of rats.
*She was dying and someone found her and put her in the garbage dump where she was found by a woman who put her in an orphanage.
*She lived in the orphanage until she was 9 years old. While there she was a domestic worker getting the water, washing the clothing and getting the other children ready for adoptive parents to pick.
*She was later chosen for adoption and came to the States
*Now married with 2 sons.
*Has a ministry called Destiny Ministries working with women in helping them to be all God wants them to be in spite of their past trauma and hurt.
On May 21, there will be a powerful speaker who once was an orphan herself. This is a FREE event, but you have to register on the website.
No Longer Alone: An Evening with Stephanie Fast
Emmanuel Community Church
12222 U.S. 24, Fort Wayne, IN 46814-7472
Friday, May 21, 2010
7PM – 8:30PM
A little more background on the speaker:
*Mother – Korean
*Father – American GI
*Stephanie – born in 1955 in post-war Korea
*As a bi-racial child, she was left on the streets by her mother at the age of 4.
*Beaten, abused, thrown in a well, tied to a water-wheel to drown her, etc.
*On the streets for 3 years
*Survived on rodents, insects, stealing…
*Caught by farmers for stealing and was thrown in a bombed out building to die. The building was full of rats.
*She was dying and someone found her and put her in the garbage dump where she was found by a woman who put her in an orphanage.
*She lived in the orphanage until she was 9 years old. While there she was a domestic worker getting the water, washing the clothing and getting the other children ready for adoptive parents to pick.
*She was later chosen for adoption and came to the States
*Now married with 2 sons.
*Has a ministry called Destiny Ministries working with women in helping them to be all God wants them to be in spite of their past trauma and hurt.
Friday, February 26, 2010
April Adoption Luncheon
The next adoption luncheon will be Sunday, April 18 in the youth room at the top of the stairs after the 3rd service (around 12:45). Come for food and fellowship. All who have adopted, are in process or are interested in adoption are invited!
Please bring 2 dishes to share. Children are welcome, Pathway only asks that you keep children off the stage and drum set, as this is a costly piece of equipment.
This is a great time to get to know others in the True Vine group!! No RSVP necessary.
Please bring 2 dishes to share. Children are welcome, Pathway only asks that you keep children off the stage and drum set, as this is a costly piece of equipment.
This is a great time to get to know others in the True Vine group!! No RSVP necessary.
Monday, February 22, 2010
True Vine Social Turn Out
We had a great time at the True Vine Social on Saturday. All the leadership team was there, as well as one family post-adoption, one family in-process, and 5 families who were interested in adoption. We had fun talking and answering questions in the break out session. God is touching people's hearts with a passion for adoption and it is exciting to watch it unfold!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
True Vine Library
Our True Vine library is officially open!!! I am excited to be able to have books available for anyone to borrow at PCC. These book are for the whole gamete of adoption, including contemplating adoption, during the process, after your child comes home and beyond. We also have some country specific books, single parenting and books from an adoptee's perspective. We have parenting books and books to help young children understand adoption. In addition, we have Adoptive Family magazines.
If the subject isn't clear from the title, I have put more specifics in parenthesis behind it (ie China). If it is a children's book, I have put (child) behind it. If it is on loan to someone else, it says...you guessed it!...**ON LOAN. If you interested in a book that is already on loan, I can hold it for you next. It's just like the public library...well, almost:)
If you are interested in a book or magazine, check out the list of titles on the right side of the blog towards the bottom. You can Google the title to find out more about the book. If you want to borrow a book, just email me at saramicheleallen@hotmail.com and tell me the title. I am storing the books at my house. We can make arrangements for you to get the book by me bringing it to church or you stopping by my house to get it. Some books we have multiple copies of. I will probably send reminders if you have had a book for a while or if someone else is wanting to borrow the same book.
I thank those who have donated their books and will be able to help others. It is an amazing way to give back! If you have adoptive books at home that you can donate, please contact me. You can also consider purchasing a book for the library, as a way to "pay it forward." We don't have any books on attachment, older child adoption, domestic adoption, transracial families, foster care, etc. These books help guide and educate you through a crazy process with an amazing ending!!
Let's fill up these shelves!!!
Friday, February 12, 2010
20 Questions - Dini Family
Every month or 2, I would like to highlight some of the PCC True Vine Families who have adopted. This will give us the chance to know each other more. Maybe there are some questions you'd like to ask or are curious about something, and this is the time. Feel free to click on "comments" under the post and list a question or you can email me and I will forward on the question saramicheleallen@hotmail.com
The first family to Q&A is the Dini family, who have become dear friends of mine through this group.
Tell us a little about your family
We are Tim and Amy Dini. We have 4 children: Taylor (15) Emily (12) Zachary (9) and Samuel (3) . Samuel was adopted through a special needs program in China. He came home September 2009.
How long have you attended PCC?
We have attended PCC for about 3 years now
What made you join True Vine?
I am totally passionate about adoption and helping others adopt. I feel that it is vital for adoptive parents to connect with one another as well as for adopted children to know others who have been adopted. The challenges of adoption for both the parents and the children are different than challenges with biological children and it is so important to have that support.
Tell us about your adoption story
God laid adoption on our hearts many years ago through our daughter Taylor. Taylor felt very strongly that we should adopt but we were in no position at that time. It was brought up every once in a while, but nothing serious. We felt our family was complete. Then, on Fathers day we ran into an old friend who had just returned home with their special needs daughter from China and we visited with them for a while. After that, God made it very apparent that this is where He wanted us to go. We couldn’t stop thinking about adoption and suddenly our family felt so very small. We went to an informational meeting and felt with complete certainty that this is what we needed to do. We prayed and talked and prayed some more, we were a family accustomed to special needs…we could do this. Our biggest obstacle was finances, but we, through much prayer, felt that if this is where God wanted us to bring home another child he would provide the way. He did in a Huge way!!
Why do feel so passionate about adoption?
My heart literally hurts to know that there are so many children in this world who don’t have a family to call their own and don’t know the love of Our Savior. I believe that so many more children would find their forever homes if more families would listen to God's call and step out in faith.
What has been the most rewarding part of adopting?
To just see the wonder in Sammy's eyes every day. To hear him pray and say "Thank you Jesus" at the end. To have been able to witness in a real way to our biological children about God's love and provision.
What made you decide to adopt a toddler/preschooler vs a baby?
We decided on a toddler since our children were older. I honestly like my sleep and didn’t want to go back to the baby stage. I am amazed at the way he has adapted and how much he has learned just being home 5 months.
How did you pick China as the country to adopt from?
Tim and I always felt pulled toward China. We had talked about adopting for many years and when we finally made a decision to take our leap of faith, we just looked at each other and said "China right?"
What is it like in China?
China was an amazing country. Honestly I could have stayed there so much longer. It was such a contradiction in everything. People rode scooters and bikes or BMW's There were all these people in tiny run down apartments, but shopping malls galore. Such an interesting comparison of the "haves" and "have nots". We were amazed by the sheer number of people and lack of personal space, but they were all so friendly to us. I cannot wait to go back!
What is it like to have a transracial family?
It is interesting being a transracial family. We get lots of stares and questions. It can be disconcerting, but also allows for people to ask questions if they are interested in adopting. We celebrate our holidays but try to include the Chinese ones as well. We all have learned about other cultures and the unimportance of the color of one's skin.
How have your other children adjusted to Sammy?
The other kids have adjusted beautifully. Of course, they get jealous sometimes over the attention he demands/requires, they all love him SO much and are constantly catering to him (sometimes too much!)
What has been the most difficult part of the adoption process?
The most difficult part was the wait. The wait is HARD. Especially when you know that your child is sick or missing holidays, birthdays, ect. It was so very difficult, since we had pictures of our son since the beginning. Watching him grow up in pictures, without being able to hold him or love him was one of the most difficult things I have done in my life.
What has been the most difficult part of transitioning Sammy?
Going back to a busy busy toddler :-) Actually Sammy transitioned to our busy household well, he bonded to us quickly but needed (and still needs) a lot of reassurance from Tim that Tim still loved him no matter what. It is uncommon for them to see a lot of men at the orphanage so Tim was more of an unknown to him.
Is it different parenting an adopted child than parenting your biological children?
So far it isnt very different. We had some language issues, but other than that, he is only 3. I see us having more challenges as he gets older.
Did others influence you to adopt?
Yes, our friends who had adopted in the special needs program from China. It made us realize that normal middle class families can afford adoption and that it isn’t unrealistic.
How did you know adoption was the right choice for your family?
Through lots of prayer and family discussions. God had laid it on our hearts as well as Taylor's. Em and Zach were thrilled just to have another sibling…they didn’t really care if the sibling was adopted or not, from China or US or Russia or where ever, it didn’t matter in the slightest to them..which is such a beautiful thing to me
How did you fund your adoption?
Wow...adoption funding. I am still not sure how we did it. We were the family Sara mentioned that started with just 300 dollars. We prayed, saved, worked and God provided. We held raffles, sold things, slashed our budget. We wrote many many grant applications. God provided every step of the way. Our friends and family were SO supportive participating in fundraising, donating airline and hotel miles. At the end we were still very short and we recieved a large donation from someone we didnt even know other than via email, for the exact amount we needed to travel. God funded our adoption and it was amazing to be able to watch it all come together.
If you could influence others to adopt, what would you say?
I would say if you feel that God is leading you in that direction, find out all you can and open your heart. It isn’t as complicated as you think, nor is it out of reach for a “typical” family. It is such an amazing blessing to grow your family through adoption but it isn’t right for everyone. The only way to be sure is through knowledge and prayer.
How have you become more involved in the True Vine ministry?
I am still trying to find my “niche” in the True Vine ministry. I am on the leadership team and the garage sale team, as well as willing to help out with Smooth Transitions (helping families smoothly transition after bringing their child home). I was in the process of leaving for China when True Vine began and we needed time to adjust once we came home. I love helping in whatever way that I can for True Vine.
Anything else you would like to add?
I think that forming a family through adoption is one of the most incredible ways you can build a family. My encouragement for all those pre-adoptive parents is to research and ask questions. There is TONS of info on the internet. Find a group on yahoo pertaining to where your child is at, research attachment and bonding, especially with an older child. Don’t be afraid to ask your adoption agency questions and ask other adoptive parents. Dossiers are complicated and the process is as well. The knowledge you will gain will help you feel better and more in control. Know that you aren’t in control, God is. His timing is perfect…always.
The first family to Q&A is the Dini family, who have become dear friends of mine through this group.
Tell us a little about your family
We are Tim and Amy Dini. We have 4 children: Taylor (15) Emily (12) Zachary (9) and Samuel (3) . Samuel was adopted through a special needs program in China. He came home September 2009.
How long have you attended PCC?
We have attended PCC for about 3 years now
What made you join True Vine?
I am totally passionate about adoption and helping others adopt. I feel that it is vital for adoptive parents to connect with one another as well as for adopted children to know others who have been adopted. The challenges of adoption for both the parents and the children are different than challenges with biological children and it is so important to have that support.
Tell us about your adoption story
God laid adoption on our hearts many years ago through our daughter Taylor. Taylor felt very strongly that we should adopt but we were in no position at that time. It was brought up every once in a while, but nothing serious. We felt our family was complete. Then, on Fathers day we ran into an old friend who had just returned home with their special needs daughter from China and we visited with them for a while. After that, God made it very apparent that this is where He wanted us to go. We couldn’t stop thinking about adoption and suddenly our family felt so very small. We went to an informational meeting and felt with complete certainty that this is what we needed to do. We prayed and talked and prayed some more, we were a family accustomed to special needs…we could do this. Our biggest obstacle was finances, but we, through much prayer, felt that if this is where God wanted us to bring home another child he would provide the way. He did in a Huge way!!
Why do feel so passionate about adoption?
My heart literally hurts to know that there are so many children in this world who don’t have a family to call their own and don’t know the love of Our Savior. I believe that so many more children would find their forever homes if more families would listen to God's call and step out in faith.
What has been the most rewarding part of adopting?
To just see the wonder in Sammy's eyes every day. To hear him pray and say "Thank you Jesus" at the end. To have been able to witness in a real way to our biological children about God's love and provision.
What made you decide to adopt a toddler/preschooler vs a baby?
We decided on a toddler since our children were older. I honestly like my sleep and didn’t want to go back to the baby stage. I am amazed at the way he has adapted and how much he has learned just being home 5 months.
How did you pick China as the country to adopt from?
Tim and I always felt pulled toward China. We had talked about adopting for many years and when we finally made a decision to take our leap of faith, we just looked at each other and said "China right?"
What is it like in China?
China was an amazing country. Honestly I could have stayed there so much longer. It was such a contradiction in everything. People rode scooters and bikes or BMW's There were all these people in tiny run down apartments, but shopping malls galore. Such an interesting comparison of the "haves" and "have nots". We were amazed by the sheer number of people and lack of personal space, but they were all so friendly to us. I cannot wait to go back!
What is it like to have a transracial family?
It is interesting being a transracial family. We get lots of stares and questions. It can be disconcerting, but also allows for people to ask questions if they are interested in adopting. We celebrate our holidays but try to include the Chinese ones as well. We all have learned about other cultures and the unimportance of the color of one's skin.
How have your other children adjusted to Sammy?
The other kids have adjusted beautifully. Of course, they get jealous sometimes over the attention he demands/requires, they all love him SO much and are constantly catering to him (sometimes too much!)
What has been the most difficult part of the adoption process?
The most difficult part was the wait. The wait is HARD. Especially when you know that your child is sick or missing holidays, birthdays, ect. It was so very difficult, since we had pictures of our son since the beginning. Watching him grow up in pictures, without being able to hold him or love him was one of the most difficult things I have done in my life.
What has been the most difficult part of transitioning Sammy?
Going back to a busy busy toddler :-) Actually Sammy transitioned to our busy household well, he bonded to us quickly but needed (and still needs) a lot of reassurance from Tim that Tim still loved him no matter what. It is uncommon for them to see a lot of men at the orphanage so Tim was more of an unknown to him.
Is it different parenting an adopted child than parenting your biological children?
So far it isnt very different. We had some language issues, but other than that, he is only 3. I see us having more challenges as he gets older.
Did others influence you to adopt?
Yes, our friends who had adopted in the special needs program from China. It made us realize that normal middle class families can afford adoption and that it isn’t unrealistic.
How did you know adoption was the right choice for your family?
Through lots of prayer and family discussions. God had laid it on our hearts as well as Taylor's. Em and Zach were thrilled just to have another sibling…they didn’t really care if the sibling was adopted or not, from China or US or Russia or where ever, it didn’t matter in the slightest to them..which is such a beautiful thing to me
How did you fund your adoption?
Wow...adoption funding. I am still not sure how we did it. We were the family Sara mentioned that started with just 300 dollars. We prayed, saved, worked and God provided. We held raffles, sold things, slashed our budget. We wrote many many grant applications. God provided every step of the way. Our friends and family were SO supportive participating in fundraising, donating airline and hotel miles. At the end we were still very short and we recieved a large donation from someone we didnt even know other than via email, for the exact amount we needed to travel. God funded our adoption and it was amazing to be able to watch it all come together.
If you could influence others to adopt, what would you say?
I would say if you feel that God is leading you in that direction, find out all you can and open your heart. It isn’t as complicated as you think, nor is it out of reach for a “typical” family. It is such an amazing blessing to grow your family through adoption but it isn’t right for everyone. The only way to be sure is through knowledge and prayer.
How have you become more involved in the True Vine ministry?
I am still trying to find my “niche” in the True Vine ministry. I am on the leadership team and the garage sale team, as well as willing to help out with Smooth Transitions (helping families smoothly transition after bringing their child home). I was in the process of leaving for China when True Vine began and we needed time to adjust once we came home. I love helping in whatever way that I can for True Vine.
Anything else you would like to add?
I think that forming a family through adoption is one of the most incredible ways you can build a family. My encouragement for all those pre-adoptive parents is to research and ask questions. There is TONS of info on the internet. Find a group on yahoo pertaining to where your child is at, research attachment and bonding, especially with an older child. Don’t be afraid to ask your adoption agency questions and ask other adoptive parents. Dossiers are complicated and the process is as well. The knowledge you will gain will help you feel better and more in control. Know that you aren’t in control, God is. His timing is perfect…always.
see their blog @
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Lifesong Matching Grants and Interest Free Loans
There is the application for Lifesong matching grants and interest free loans on the right side of this blog. Pathway has entered into a "partnership" with Lifesong. Funds that are donated from others or raised (ie the garage sale) are put into our "account" with Lifesong.
This application can be filled out once you have your homestudy complete. When you fill out the application, you will be providing all details regarding cash flow, assets, debt, costs of your adoption, and relationship with God.
You then consent that you acknowledge this is NOT a guarantee that assistance will be granted. You also agree to release information from your adoption agency to them. Lifesong has the sole responsibility to accept or deny your application without cause.
On page 6 of the application, number 5 goes into the specifics of fundraising. By applying for the grants/interest free loans, you are agreeing "to formulate a mailing list of supporters and mail Support Kits to each one." Basically, your family and friends can make a donation to Lifesong (that is tax deductible) to go towards your adoption. The matching grant means that the money your family and friends donate to Lifesong (for your adoption) may be matched by Lifesong funds or interest free loan (from the PCC/Lifesong "account").
You also agree to send a picture, tax return, copy of homestudy, and letter from your pastor. You then submit all this information to Lifesong.
This application is very detailed, but easy to follow. Lifesong will gladly answer any questions you may have. Their phone number, address and email address are on the application.
Lifesong For Orphans
This application can be filled out once you have your homestudy complete. When you fill out the application, you will be providing all details regarding cash flow, assets, debt, costs of your adoption, and relationship with God.
You then consent that you acknowledge this is NOT a guarantee that assistance will be granted. You also agree to release information from your adoption agency to them. Lifesong has the sole responsibility to accept or deny your application without cause.
On page 6 of the application, number 5 goes into the specifics of fundraising. By applying for the grants/interest free loans, you are agreeing "to formulate a mailing list of supporters and mail Support Kits to each one." Basically, your family and friends can make a donation to Lifesong (that is tax deductible) to go towards your adoption. The matching grant means that the money your family and friends donate to Lifesong (for your adoption) may be matched by Lifesong funds or interest free loan (from the PCC/Lifesong "account").
You also agree to send a picture, tax return, copy of homestudy, and letter from your pastor. You then submit all this information to Lifesong.
This application is very detailed, but easy to follow. Lifesong will gladly answer any questions you may have. Their phone number, address and email address are on the application.
Lifesong For Orphans
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Adoption Agencies
There are thousands of adoption agencies....where in the world do I start? How do I know who is good?
The first thing is to listen to others and ask around. It is not a guarantee that because someone says an agency is good, that it really is. Are your expectations the same as another person's? How much times has lapsed between the referral's adoption and when you are starting (agencies performances can change).
Check the Better Business Bureau and Attorney General for complaints filed. Use search engines to look up the agencies online, for feedback.
Use checklists to thoroughly look at agencies. A good website is:
Adoption Agency Checklist
Next check agency rating websites. Here are some good ones.
Adoption Agency Ratings
Adoption Agency Reviews
There are private groups that share their feelings regarding agencies as well:
yahoo adoption agency rating group
Ethica does a good job explaining what to look for too
Ethica
One thing to remember is that there will always be complaints. As the parent, it is hard to "sit in the passenger seat, while the agency and/or lawyer drives the car" (although we know God is in control) Look for red flags, repeated complaints across the board. Also keep in mind that people who are angry at an agency might use various names on the same website to post multiple complaints. On the flip side, sometimes agencies report good claims about themselves. Just educate yourself before making the decision, then trust God to carry you through!
The first thing is to listen to others and ask around. It is not a guarantee that because someone says an agency is good, that it really is. Are your expectations the same as another person's? How much times has lapsed between the referral's adoption and when you are starting (agencies performances can change).
Check the Better Business Bureau and Attorney General for complaints filed. Use search engines to look up the agencies online, for feedback.
Use checklists to thoroughly look at agencies. A good website is:
Adoption Agency Checklist
Next check agency rating websites. Here are some good ones.
Adoption Agency Ratings
Adoption Agency Reviews
There are private groups that share their feelings regarding agencies as well:
yahoo adoption agency rating group
Ethica does a good job explaining what to look for too
Ethica
One thing to remember is that there will always be complaints. As the parent, it is hard to "sit in the passenger seat, while the agency and/or lawyer drives the car" (although we know God is in control) Look for red flags, repeated complaints across the board. Also keep in mind that people who are angry at an agency might use various names on the same website to post multiple complaints. On the flip side, sometimes agencies report good claims about themselves. Just educate yourself before making the decision, then trust God to carry you through!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
True Vine Library
Don't forget to donate adoption books (educational ones for adults or children's books) to our True Vine library. This will be great resource for those adopting. It is a great way to give back to others!
I can meet you at church or we can make other arrangements for me to get the books. Email me or leave me a message on the blog
saramicheleallen@hotmail.com
Thanks!!
I can meet you at church or we can make other arrangements for me to get the books. Email me or leave me a message on the blog
saramicheleallen@hotmail.com
Thanks!!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Adoption Books For Kids
While we were in process to adopt Kate, I began looking for books that would help my children at home understand what was going to happen, as well as have books for Kate to help her understand her adoption.
We never know how Kate will accept the fact she is adopted and that her family is transracial. God chose this path for us, but it affects not only us as parents, but also Kate, Bryce and Paige. It has made our family 'conspicuous' - more obvious (I took an online course on this). It made me realize that just because I don't see it, that doesn't mean others in the community won't or won't question it. It prepared me for questions or rude comments we might hear. We need to prepare ourselves, Kate and Bryce and Paige to be able to handle it. I feel we are ambassadors for adoption and plan to try very hard to be positive, no matter what the comment or question is.
I found most of these books through Tapestry catalogs and by Googling. I borrowed them from the library to test them out. The ones I really liked, I bought through Amazon when they had free shipping.
I thought I would make my own personal favorite list of books that have helped me with terminology and explanation of such a complex area. These books are great for cousins and friends too, who will need to understand adoption. The + sign means my extra special favorites.
What adoption books have you read to your kids that you would add to this list?
+Over The Moon - Karen Katz
*good for younger kids too
*adopting hispanic child
We Adopted You Benjamin Koo - Linda Walvoord Girad
*more geared towards elementary
*realistic view of international adoption and probs they may face
Let's Talk About It: Adoption - Fred Rogers
*very basic
+My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You - Keven Leman II
*great book for all ages
*help see things from their perspective
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes - Rose Lewis
*simple, bringing a child home internationally
I Don't Have Your Eyes - Carrie A Kitze
*how we are different, yet alike
+Guatemala ABCs - Marcie Aboff
*nothing to do with adoption, but great info about Guatemala
+Talking About Adoption - Jillian Powell
*basic terms to explain the concept
Our Twitchy - Kes Gray and Mary McQuillan
*cute story about a bunny who is adopted by a cow and horse
Children of Guatemala - Jules Hermes
*nothing to do with adoption, but good information and pictures about Guatemala
+Flora's Family - Annette Aubrey
*great book in which parents explain adoption to their daughter (hispanic)
It's Okay To Be Different - Todd Parr
*shows how we are all different
We Wanted You - Liz Rosenberg
*cute story about how you knew your child was out there somewhere
All About Adoption - Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata
*great way to explain adoption process
Families Are Forever - Craig Shemin
*a child's version of her lifebook
Why Am I Different - Norma Simon
*does not single out your child that is adopted, but talks about the various ways people are different
+We're The Same, We're Different - Bobbi Jane Kates
*Sesame Street book showing that all people look different
Families Are Different - Nina Pellegrini
*shows that no two families are the same
added by Brent R:
Happy Adoption Day - John McCutcheon
*commemorates the day when a child joins an adoptive family, interactive
We never know how Kate will accept the fact she is adopted and that her family is transracial. God chose this path for us, but it affects not only us as parents, but also Kate, Bryce and Paige. It has made our family 'conspicuous' - more obvious (I took an online course on this). It made me realize that just because I don't see it, that doesn't mean others in the community won't or won't question it. It prepared me for questions or rude comments we might hear. We need to prepare ourselves, Kate and Bryce and Paige to be able to handle it. I feel we are ambassadors for adoption and plan to try very hard to be positive, no matter what the comment or question is.
I found most of these books through Tapestry catalogs and by Googling. I borrowed them from the library to test them out. The ones I really liked, I bought through Amazon when they had free shipping.
I thought I would make my own personal favorite list of books that have helped me with terminology and explanation of such a complex area. These books are great for cousins and friends too, who will need to understand adoption. The + sign means my extra special favorites.
What adoption books have you read to your kids that you would add to this list?
+Over The Moon - Karen Katz
*good for younger kids too
*adopting hispanic child
We Adopted You Benjamin Koo - Linda Walvoord Girad
*more geared towards elementary
*realistic view of international adoption and probs they may face
Let's Talk About It: Adoption - Fred Rogers
*very basic
+My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You - Keven Leman II
*great book for all ages
*help see things from their perspective
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes - Rose Lewis
*simple, bringing a child home internationally
I Don't Have Your Eyes - Carrie A Kitze
*how we are different, yet alike
+Guatemala ABCs - Marcie Aboff
*nothing to do with adoption, but great info about Guatemala
+Talking About Adoption - Jillian Powell
*basic terms to explain the concept
Our Twitchy - Kes Gray and Mary McQuillan
*cute story about a bunny who is adopted by a cow and horse
Children of Guatemala - Jules Hermes
*nothing to do with adoption, but good information and pictures about Guatemala
+Flora's Family - Annette Aubrey
*great book in which parents explain adoption to their daughter (hispanic)
It's Okay To Be Different - Todd Parr
*shows how we are all different
We Wanted You - Liz Rosenberg
*cute story about how you knew your child was out there somewhere
All About Adoption - Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata
*great way to explain adoption process
Families Are Forever - Craig Shemin
*a child's version of her lifebook
Why Am I Different - Norma Simon
*does not single out your child that is adopted, but talks about the various ways people are different
+We're The Same, We're Different - Bobbi Jane Kates
*Sesame Street book showing that all people look different
Families Are Different - Nina Pellegrini
*shows that no two families are the same
added by Brent R:
Happy Adoption Day - John McCutcheon
*commemorates the day when a child joins an adoptive family, interactive
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Foster Care, Foster to Adopt and Domestic Adoption
I am going to provide some resources for those of you interested in foster care and foster to adopt.
There is a link for each state's child welfare system
Child Welfare Information
There is also a link that allows you to set parameters on the type of child you are looking for, based on the sex of the child, age, siblings, etc.
Child Search
Indiana has pictures and information on older children and sibling sets that are "legally free" for adoption (meaning paperwork wise, there parent's right have been terminated). New pictures are added frequently.
Indiana Department of Child Services
Within this website, there is a Heart Gallery, which focuses on trying to find families for older children and sibling sets, providing more information, professional pictures and sometimes videos. They change this every couple of months. You can find this by going to the above website, click on bottom left "Heart Gallery", then "Visit the Gallery". Here is the direct link:
Heart Gallery
We will be hosting the Heart Gallery (a display with 8x10 pictures of these kids and information) for 2 weeks in April, so stay tuned. I have added these links to the right side of the blog.
There is a link for each state's child welfare system
Child Welfare Information
There is also a link that allows you to set parameters on the type of child you are looking for, based on the sex of the child, age, siblings, etc.
Child Search
Indiana has pictures and information on older children and sibling sets that are "legally free" for adoption (meaning paperwork wise, there parent's right have been terminated). New pictures are added frequently.
Indiana Department of Child Services
Within this website, there is a Heart Gallery, which focuses on trying to find families for older children and sibling sets, providing more information, professional pictures and sometimes videos. They change this every couple of months. You can find this by going to the above website, click on bottom left "Heart Gallery", then "Visit the Gallery". Here is the direct link:
Heart Gallery
We will be hosting the Heart Gallery (a display with 8x10 pictures of these kids and information) for 2 weeks in April, so stay tuned. I have added these links to the right side of the blog.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Excuse
This is from my friend Amy, who is a mom to 4 biological children and 4 adopted children (domestic and international adoptions). Her writings are so inspiring and here is her latest post:
I've had my share of excuses in the past....
Too busy
Not enough money
Not enough time
Too young
Too old
Can't afford it
Already have 4 children
Not sure if it's God's will
Not sure
Can't afford it
What will others say?
What will others think?
People will think we are crazy
What if they are right?
Can't afford it.
What if it's hard on our other kids?
It's not the right time
Not sure if I would be good at it.
House is too small.
Can't afford it.
Not sure if I want to start all over again.
What would we drive?
What if it's to much work?
What if it's too hard?
Can't afford it.
Yet for every excuse God has the answer-
Him.
It's all about Him- period.
He must increase,
but I must decrease.
John 3:30
We limit God with our excuses.
We limit God with our fears.
We limit God by putting Him inside a box-
A box we have designed on our own.
But by doing this we are actually robbing ourselves-
robbing ourselves of the blessings.
Robbing ourselves of true joy
Robbing ourselves of truly living.
Because you see when we take 'us' out of the picture
Our worries,
Our fears,
Our excuses,
And we put God in the center of our lives
The possibilities are endless.
He has the way...
He IS the way...
And all you have to do is
stop making excuses and take that first step.
Stop listening to the world.
Stop being afraid of the what ifs-
And listen to the one who knows.
The one who has the answers.
The one who really matters.
The truth is
we don't have to be perfect
because He is.
We don't have to have all of the answers
because He already does.
We don't have to know how
because He will show us.
Each day you wait
is a day that they wait too...
The cost of your excuse is a lot higher than the cost of an adoption
because look at what it's costing them.
Stop making excuses.
They are waiting
And so is He...
To show you the way
I've had my share of excuses in the past....
Too busy
Not enough money
Not enough time
Too young
Too old
Can't afford it
Already have 4 children
Not sure if it's God's will
Not sure
Can't afford it
What will others say?
What will others think?
People will think we are crazy
What if they are right?
Can't afford it.
What if it's hard on our other kids?
It's not the right time
Not sure if I would be good at it.
House is too small.
Can't afford it.
Not sure if I want to start all over again.
What would we drive?
What if it's to much work?
What if it's too hard?
Can't afford it.
Yet for every excuse God has the answer-
Him.
It's all about Him- period.
He must increase,
but I must decrease.
John 3:30
We limit God with our excuses.
We limit God with our fears.
We limit God by putting Him inside a box-
A box we have designed on our own.
But by doing this we are actually robbing ourselves-
robbing ourselves of the blessings.
Robbing ourselves of true joy
Robbing ourselves of truly living.
Because you see when we take 'us' out of the picture
Our worries,
Our fears,
Our excuses,
And we put God in the center of our lives
The possibilities are endless.
He has the way...
He IS the way...
And all you have to do is
stop making excuses and take that first step.
Stop listening to the world.
Stop being afraid of the what ifs-
And listen to the one who knows.
The one who has the answers.
The one who really matters.
The truth is
we don't have to be perfect
because He is.
We don't have to have all of the answers
because He already does.
We don't have to know how
because He will show us.
Each day you wait
is a day that they wait too...
The cost of your excuse is a lot higher than the cost of an adoption
because look at what it's costing them.
Stop making excuses.
They are waiting
And so is He...
To show you the way
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Free Adoption Photos
Check out this website. You can have your child's (adopted) picture taken for free if you do this within 12 months of bringing your child home. It explains and gives a list of photographers across the country that donate their time for families who have adopted. They only do so many per month as a charitable donation, so you have to book early. The session and proofs are free (have to check with individual photographer). What a neat thing:)
http://www.celebratingadoption.org/
http://www.celebratingadoption.org/
Friday, January 29, 2010
How To Start the Adoption Process
So you've decided you are ready to adopt and have no idea where to start? Trust me, you are not alone. There are so many resources, choices to be made that it can be overwhelming.
Loving Shepherd offers a FREE service to help you narrow down your choices and get started. Also note websites on the right, especially How to Adopt.
http://www.loving-shepherd.com/adoption-services.html
The next part here is my personal opinion, so take it for face value.
1. Pray. That is the single biggest thing that helped us decide that adoption was right for our family, obtain guidance, gain strength when we were at our lowest, and place blind faith. Know that you can rely on God, and only God.
2. Adoption friends. Reach out to others. I know Joel was skeptical when I joined an online forum, made a blog and made contact with other bloggers. You decide how much personal information you devulge. I am thankful for the forums, as they kept me up to speed, when I couldn't get answers. Yes, you have to read things with a grain of salt, but there are a lot of good resources. Making my own blog allowed me to reach out to others and vice versa. Remember what you post is PUBLIC and that you never know who reads it. The people that I connected with who were also adopting from the same orphanage helped provide me with a lot of sanity. We answered each others questions, lended support and could ask questions privately. Find out if the agency has stipulations regarding contact with other adoptive families or contact with others who are visiting the orphanage, and be skeptical if they discourage this.
3. Research. Make sure you are confident in the country and agency you choose. Post questions anywhere you can, to get feedback privately. Check the Better Business Bureau. Check with the Attorney General to see if there are any complaints filed. There are Adoption Agency Rating sites that provide feedback on what others think. Yes, there will always be complaints, but look for red flags. Remember that you are not only looking at the way the agency handled adoptions in the past, but those in process as well. Agencies may change over time, in the way they handle cases, especially if changes come down the pipeline. Spend a lot of time on the phone with the agency asking questions...do they answer just your questions or provide extra info. Ask to speak to the adoption coordinators...does it feel like a good match? Remember, these are the people who will be doing the legwork and going to bat for you. If you chose international adoption, keep in mind that you should also research the orphanage and lawyer, in addition to the agency. Sometimes agencies use multiple lawyers and not all are good and efficient. What are the ratios in the orphanage, how often are they bathed and clothes changed, what is the diet, are they touched, talked to and sung to?
4. Expectations. Make you needs known up front. Tell the agency and coordinator what your expectations of them are. Are they able to be in complete agreement? Will they follow through on what they say they are going to do? ("I will email today" or "I will give you a call tonight" and actually do it)
5. Integrity. Expect TRANSPARENCY! Is the agency willing to provide receipts of transactions with dates? Honesty through every step of the way should be mandatory, whether it is medications given to your child, what is fed to your child, vacinnations, dates of steps in the process, or anything else. If things are not done when they are supposed to be, you should be told that. If things are lost, you should be told that. Yes, we are all human and make mistakes, but I believe in owning up to what you have done, not ignoring or lying. You have every single right as the adoptive parent to call and check on the status of your case when you are able to call a government or outside source, when information is made public. Make sure that they don't object to you researching things for your own case - you are in this together. You have every right to question something and the agency should feel confident enough in who they are to discuss it.
6. Communication. This is the key...what is the turn-around time for questions? Will they handle problems or questions on the weekends and evenings? Is this their only job....do they have the time to provide to just their adoption cases? What is the time difference between you and the the coordinators...remember this does play a factor in getting resolution.
7. Paperwork. You should have an agency that will walk you through line by line how to fill out initial paperwork, paperwork during the process and final paperwork. Do they provide written examples of this? You should not have to ask other adoptive parents how to fill out paperwork, as your agency should know how to help you, and be proactive in assisting you with this. Do they or a liason stay with you at the appointments in country at the end, or just drop you off?
8. Updates. How will you find out progress on your case, as well as updates on your child? Make sure there is a scheduled day each week or every other week in which there is some type of summary on your case...news or no news. You should never have to ask for summaries, they should be given. It is their job to keep you up to speed. If they don't know the answer, it is their job to find out and to represent YOU (not just the lawyers) when problems do arise....tell them up front what you expect. One way that some agencies provide timely updates is to post information on the case as soon it is done on a secure website that you have a personal ID and can obtain. Each person is then able to log on 100 times a day if they want to check the status of their own personal case (vs updates being done in groups at a time, which is time-delayed).
9. Contracts. Don't sign them unless everything is specifically spelled out - visits, pick-up trips, additional expenses, obtaining outside help, etc. Never pay a bill unless you receive an invoice and make sure you receive a receipt. Are they upfront about the exact breakdown of costs or do they avoid this question?
10. the End. Do they call to follow-up how your appointment in country went, or if your child is sick on pick-up trip or when you get home? A reputable agency will not leave you hanging, but will follow-up out of concern and welfare for the child and adoptive parents. Do they have a social worker on staff from start to finish or least have the resources to help you if you need assistance with the transition? This tells you a lot about the kind of people you are dealing with.
Yes, you have to be demanding and pushy at times. You are your child's advocate and hopefully you will pick an agency that encourages this belief. You need people who recognize that every single day that you miss from your child's life is precious. Yes, timing is in God's hands, but your agency and/or lawyers have the ability to change this time line.
Here are parts of articles I found
"You are now able to love another child (perhaps your first) and are able to provide that child with a better future. So how do you go about it, if you have decided to adopt a child?The child adoption process varies depending on the type of adoption you are going for as well as your home country and/or the country where you will be adopting a child from. In general though you need to begin by asking yourself what type of adoption you are going to go for - domestic or international? Older child or infant adoption?Once you have decided on the type of adoption the next thing is to find an adoption agency. There are a number of websites on the internet that have listings of child adoption agencies for both domestic and international adoption. Phone or visit a couple of these agencies and if possible attend any orientation courses they may be running.Once you have chosen your agency, filled in the application form and paid the required fee, your counselor or social worker will guide you through the whole child adoption procedure. This will include a number of interviews, home studies, and medical and criminal record checks. The length of this process will depend on the type of adoption you have chosen and your counselor will be able to give you more information about this.In conclusion, child adoption is not for everyone and before deciding to adopt it is important that you honestly answer some questions about your ability to look after this child. If you do decide to adopt however it can be a wonderful experience and truly benefit all involved. If you decide to adopt you should start by deciding what kind of adoption you want to go for and then finding an adoption agency that will guide you through the whole child adoption procedure. This process can take anything from a number of months to a number of years and includes paperwork, home studies and interviews. Your adoption agency will be able to help you through this whole process."
*articlebase.com
"There are several different ways that parents can adopt, and these include international adoptions, domestic adoptions, and foster care adoptions. All of these adoptions have positive and negative points. Adoptions can be handled by a public or private agency, an adoption lawyer, or an adoption facilitator. If you are seeking to adopt a child through an agency, it is very important that you check out their credentials as thoroughly as possible. You can check with the Better Business Bureau, and you can also make sure they are a licensed facility. You should also ask for references and contacts of parents who have successfully adopted a child. A public agency will likely be involved if the child you are seeking to adopt is a foster child. There may be public funds available to help you with some of the legal fees. If you think you might want to adopt, you may want to consider becoming a foster parent at first. You may even be able to request a child who may have a serious possibility of being adoptable. Private adoption agencies will typically cost more money. Many of these agencies have set criteria as to the qualifications of an adoptive parent. It is becoming more common to allow a single person to adopt a child, though. The priority of the adoption agency should be the care and well-being of the child. Again, you will need to check out the agency’s credentials and reputation. You will want to determine how much money is needed up front. You will also want to find out what happens to the money you have already spent if something goes wrong with the adoption. A private adoption is usually handled through a private adoption lawyer. There can be a wide variety of costs involved, depending on several factors. Obviously, in addition to the money you spend on the mother’s medical and/or living expenses, you will also have to pay attorney fees and court costs. The total amount of money needed should be itemized and agreed upon in writing before an agreement is reached. If you are interested in an international adoption, you will probably want to use an international adoption agency. They should be familiar with the laws of each country where an adoption may take place. The process can take longer, and often the child is a toddler or older before she can legally be placed with the adoptive parents. Once the adoption has taken place, however, and you have left the country with your child, any other legal problems should be few. If you adopt a child in the United States, you can opt for an open or closed adoption. An open adoption means that you and the birth parent can keep in contact as the child grows. You can decide how little or how much contact, usually. A closed adoption means that the records are sealed, and there is little or no contact between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. Adoption can be a long, expensive, and sometimes a frustrating process. If you really desire to give a child a home, however, adoption can be a wonderful choice for both you and your child."
*essortment.com
"Step 1
Embrace Adoption: Many people enter into adoption quickly following the disappointment of infertility. Give yourself time to be in a place where adoption feels like the BEST option, not second best.
Step 2
Do the Busy Work Ahead of Time: If you eventually decide to adopt, any adoption will require all sorts of vital records in triplicate. Frequently, obtaining these records can hold up the approval process down the road. So, during your investigation period, go ahead and obtain THREE STATE CERTIFIED copies of your and your partner's birth certificates, marriage/civil union certificates, divorce decrees. Get together copies of you and your partner's 1040 forms and W-2s for the previous 3 years. Also, make appointments for checkups for the whole family. Pay any outstanding traffic and parking tickets, and make sure your driving records are clear. There will be other paperwork down the road, but these are the things you can do right away.
Step 3
Educate Yourself: There are more options in adopting than many folks realize. Foster parenting, agency adoption, private placement adoption, international adoption: each is a distinct option with distinct pros and cons. A GREAT book that simplifies these options is Randall Hicks' "Adopting in America."
Step 4
Find A Great Home Study Social Worker: All adoptions (other than some foster parenting programs) require an independent home study by a licensed social worker in YOUR STATE. This is a process which takes several months, and comprises a thorough background check, personal references, and several visits from the social worker. The social worker will also help you to discuss which kind of adoption would work the best for your family. The social worker will also give you the option to attend seminars that will teach you more about adoption and meet other families. For a directory of social workers to perform your home study, visit http://directory.adoption.com/.
Step 5
Choose Without Judgment: You will eventually pick which type of adoption is best: infant or older child, domestic or international, transracial or special needs, etc. Once you determine which is best for you, let go of the judgments you may have about which one you "should" do. There is no right kind of adoption, only the right kind for you. If it's right for you, it will be right for your child.
Step 6
If You Choose Private Placement: First locate a certified adoption attorney at http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/member_directory.htm. They and the social worker will review with you the safe options for finding a birthfamily and completing the adoption process. Talk with the lawyer and social worker about finding someone BEFORE considering paying a placement agency a big fee to place you with a baby.
Step 7
If You Choose Foster Care: This is generally done completely through your state/county's foster care program. The foster care system has its own home study process (they still need that paperwork!), and will work with you to place you with the right child for your family. If finances are top of mind for you, foster care is the most economical choice.
Step 8
If You Choose Agency Adoption: This is an adoption type where the family has relinquished the child for adoption to your social worker's agency, and your social worker then can place them with you. Your social worker will have more information for you about these waiting children. This is different from foster care where the children are relinquished to a state selected foster home, and you work with the state/county agency. In this case, your independent agency is the "agent" for the child, and sometimes their parents, and different regulations may apply.
Step 9
If You Choose International Adoption: You will need to locate an agency that specializes in the country you intend to adopt from. This agency need not be in your state. They will work with your social worker to get the paperwork together. There is a great Yahoo! group where families have rated agencies that have assisted them with international adoptions. I wholeheartedly recommend joining this group and viewing the ratings and comments. "
*ehow.com
Loving Shepherd offers a FREE service to help you narrow down your choices and get started. Also note websites on the right, especially How to Adopt.
http://www.loving-shepherd.com/adoption-services.html
The next part here is my personal opinion, so take it for face value.
1. Pray. That is the single biggest thing that helped us decide that adoption was right for our family, obtain guidance, gain strength when we were at our lowest, and place blind faith. Know that you can rely on God, and only God.
2. Adoption friends. Reach out to others. I know Joel was skeptical when I joined an online forum, made a blog and made contact with other bloggers. You decide how much personal information you devulge. I am thankful for the forums, as they kept me up to speed, when I couldn't get answers. Yes, you have to read things with a grain of salt, but there are a lot of good resources. Making my own blog allowed me to reach out to others and vice versa. Remember what you post is PUBLIC and that you never know who reads it. The people that I connected with who were also adopting from the same orphanage helped provide me with a lot of sanity. We answered each others questions, lended support and could ask questions privately. Find out if the agency has stipulations regarding contact with other adoptive families or contact with others who are visiting the orphanage, and be skeptical if they discourage this.
3. Research. Make sure you are confident in the country and agency you choose. Post questions anywhere you can, to get feedback privately. Check the Better Business Bureau. Check with the Attorney General to see if there are any complaints filed. There are Adoption Agency Rating sites that provide feedback on what others think. Yes, there will always be complaints, but look for red flags. Remember that you are not only looking at the way the agency handled adoptions in the past, but those in process as well. Agencies may change over time, in the way they handle cases, especially if changes come down the pipeline. Spend a lot of time on the phone with the agency asking questions...do they answer just your questions or provide extra info. Ask to speak to the adoption coordinators...does it feel like a good match? Remember, these are the people who will be doing the legwork and going to bat for you. If you chose international adoption, keep in mind that you should also research the orphanage and lawyer, in addition to the agency. Sometimes agencies use multiple lawyers and not all are good and efficient. What are the ratios in the orphanage, how often are they bathed and clothes changed, what is the diet, are they touched, talked to and sung to?
4. Expectations. Make you needs known up front. Tell the agency and coordinator what your expectations of them are. Are they able to be in complete agreement? Will they follow through on what they say they are going to do? ("I will email today" or "I will give you a call tonight" and actually do it)
5. Integrity. Expect TRANSPARENCY! Is the agency willing to provide receipts of transactions with dates? Honesty through every step of the way should be mandatory, whether it is medications given to your child, what is fed to your child, vacinnations, dates of steps in the process, or anything else. If things are not done when they are supposed to be, you should be told that. If things are lost, you should be told that. Yes, we are all human and make mistakes, but I believe in owning up to what you have done, not ignoring or lying. You have every single right as the adoptive parent to call and check on the status of your case when you are able to call a government or outside source, when information is made public. Make sure that they don't object to you researching things for your own case - you are in this together. You have every right to question something and the agency should feel confident enough in who they are to discuss it.
6. Communication. This is the key...what is the turn-around time for questions? Will they handle problems or questions on the weekends and evenings? Is this their only job....do they have the time to provide to just their adoption cases? What is the time difference between you and the the coordinators...remember this does play a factor in getting resolution.
7. Paperwork. You should have an agency that will walk you through line by line how to fill out initial paperwork, paperwork during the process and final paperwork. Do they provide written examples of this? You should not have to ask other adoptive parents how to fill out paperwork, as your agency should know how to help you, and be proactive in assisting you with this. Do they or a liason stay with you at the appointments in country at the end, or just drop you off?
8. Updates. How will you find out progress on your case, as well as updates on your child? Make sure there is a scheduled day each week or every other week in which there is some type of summary on your case...news or no news. You should never have to ask for summaries, they should be given. It is their job to keep you up to speed. If they don't know the answer, it is their job to find out and to represent YOU (not just the lawyers) when problems do arise....tell them up front what you expect. One way that some agencies provide timely updates is to post information on the case as soon it is done on a secure website that you have a personal ID and can obtain. Each person is then able to log on 100 times a day if they want to check the status of their own personal case (vs updates being done in groups at a time, which is time-delayed).
9. Contracts. Don't sign them unless everything is specifically spelled out - visits, pick-up trips, additional expenses, obtaining outside help, etc. Never pay a bill unless you receive an invoice and make sure you receive a receipt. Are they upfront about the exact breakdown of costs or do they avoid this question?
10. the End. Do they call to follow-up how your appointment in country went, or if your child is sick on pick-up trip or when you get home? A reputable agency will not leave you hanging, but will follow-up out of concern and welfare for the child and adoptive parents. Do they have a social worker on staff from start to finish or least have the resources to help you if you need assistance with the transition? This tells you a lot about the kind of people you are dealing with.
Yes, you have to be demanding and pushy at times. You are your child's advocate and hopefully you will pick an agency that encourages this belief. You need people who recognize that every single day that you miss from your child's life is precious. Yes, timing is in God's hands, but your agency and/or lawyers have the ability to change this time line.
Here are parts of articles I found
"You are now able to love another child (perhaps your first) and are able to provide that child with a better future. So how do you go about it, if you have decided to adopt a child?The child adoption process varies depending on the type of adoption you are going for as well as your home country and/or the country where you will be adopting a child from. In general though you need to begin by asking yourself what type of adoption you are going to go for - domestic or international? Older child or infant adoption?Once you have decided on the type of adoption the next thing is to find an adoption agency. There are a number of websites on the internet that have listings of child adoption agencies for both domestic and international adoption. Phone or visit a couple of these agencies and if possible attend any orientation courses they may be running.Once you have chosen your agency, filled in the application form and paid the required fee, your counselor or social worker will guide you through the whole child adoption procedure. This will include a number of interviews, home studies, and medical and criminal record checks. The length of this process will depend on the type of adoption you have chosen and your counselor will be able to give you more information about this.In conclusion, child adoption is not for everyone and before deciding to adopt it is important that you honestly answer some questions about your ability to look after this child. If you do decide to adopt however it can be a wonderful experience and truly benefit all involved. If you decide to adopt you should start by deciding what kind of adoption you want to go for and then finding an adoption agency that will guide you through the whole child adoption procedure. This process can take anything from a number of months to a number of years and includes paperwork, home studies and interviews. Your adoption agency will be able to help you through this whole process."
*articlebase.com
"There are several different ways that parents can adopt, and these include international adoptions, domestic adoptions, and foster care adoptions. All of these adoptions have positive and negative points. Adoptions can be handled by a public or private agency, an adoption lawyer, or an adoption facilitator. If you are seeking to adopt a child through an agency, it is very important that you check out their credentials as thoroughly as possible. You can check with the Better Business Bureau, and you can also make sure they are a licensed facility. You should also ask for references and contacts of parents who have successfully adopted a child. A public agency will likely be involved if the child you are seeking to adopt is a foster child. There may be public funds available to help you with some of the legal fees. If you think you might want to adopt, you may want to consider becoming a foster parent at first. You may even be able to request a child who may have a serious possibility of being adoptable. Private adoption agencies will typically cost more money. Many of these agencies have set criteria as to the qualifications of an adoptive parent. It is becoming more common to allow a single person to adopt a child, though. The priority of the adoption agency should be the care and well-being of the child. Again, you will need to check out the agency’s credentials and reputation. You will want to determine how much money is needed up front. You will also want to find out what happens to the money you have already spent if something goes wrong with the adoption. A private adoption is usually handled through a private adoption lawyer. There can be a wide variety of costs involved, depending on several factors. Obviously, in addition to the money you spend on the mother’s medical and/or living expenses, you will also have to pay attorney fees and court costs. The total amount of money needed should be itemized and agreed upon in writing before an agreement is reached. If you are interested in an international adoption, you will probably want to use an international adoption agency. They should be familiar with the laws of each country where an adoption may take place. The process can take longer, and often the child is a toddler or older before she can legally be placed with the adoptive parents. Once the adoption has taken place, however, and you have left the country with your child, any other legal problems should be few. If you adopt a child in the United States, you can opt for an open or closed adoption. An open adoption means that you and the birth parent can keep in contact as the child grows. You can decide how little or how much contact, usually. A closed adoption means that the records are sealed, and there is little or no contact between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. Adoption can be a long, expensive, and sometimes a frustrating process. If you really desire to give a child a home, however, adoption can be a wonderful choice for both you and your child."
*essortment.com
"Step 1
Embrace Adoption: Many people enter into adoption quickly following the disappointment of infertility. Give yourself time to be in a place where adoption feels like the BEST option, not second best.
Step 2
Do the Busy Work Ahead of Time: If you eventually decide to adopt, any adoption will require all sorts of vital records in triplicate. Frequently, obtaining these records can hold up the approval process down the road. So, during your investigation period, go ahead and obtain THREE STATE CERTIFIED copies of your and your partner's birth certificates, marriage/civil union certificates, divorce decrees. Get together copies of you and your partner's 1040 forms and W-2s for the previous 3 years. Also, make appointments for checkups for the whole family. Pay any outstanding traffic and parking tickets, and make sure your driving records are clear. There will be other paperwork down the road, but these are the things you can do right away.
Step 3
Educate Yourself: There are more options in adopting than many folks realize. Foster parenting, agency adoption, private placement adoption, international adoption: each is a distinct option with distinct pros and cons. A GREAT book that simplifies these options is Randall Hicks' "Adopting in America."
Step 4
Find A Great Home Study Social Worker: All adoptions (other than some foster parenting programs) require an independent home study by a licensed social worker in YOUR STATE. This is a process which takes several months, and comprises a thorough background check, personal references, and several visits from the social worker. The social worker will also help you to discuss which kind of adoption would work the best for your family. The social worker will also give you the option to attend seminars that will teach you more about adoption and meet other families. For a directory of social workers to perform your home study, visit http://directory.adoption.com/.
Step 5
Choose Without Judgment: You will eventually pick which type of adoption is best: infant or older child, domestic or international, transracial or special needs, etc. Once you determine which is best for you, let go of the judgments you may have about which one you "should" do. There is no right kind of adoption, only the right kind for you. If it's right for you, it will be right for your child.
Step 6
If You Choose Private Placement: First locate a certified adoption attorney at http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/member_directory.htm. They and the social worker will review with you the safe options for finding a birthfamily and completing the adoption process. Talk with the lawyer and social worker about finding someone BEFORE considering paying a placement agency a big fee to place you with a baby.
Step 7
If You Choose Foster Care: This is generally done completely through your state/county's foster care program. The foster care system has its own home study process (they still need that paperwork!), and will work with you to place you with the right child for your family. If finances are top of mind for you, foster care is the most economical choice.
Step 8
If You Choose Agency Adoption: This is an adoption type where the family has relinquished the child for adoption to your social worker's agency, and your social worker then can place them with you. Your social worker will have more information for you about these waiting children. This is different from foster care where the children are relinquished to a state selected foster home, and you work with the state/county agency. In this case, your independent agency is the "agent" for the child, and sometimes their parents, and different regulations may apply.
Step 9
If You Choose International Adoption: You will need to locate an agency that specializes in the country you intend to adopt from. This agency need not be in your state. They will work with your social worker to get the paperwork together. There is a great Yahoo! group where families have rated agencies that have assisted them with international adoptions. I wholeheartedly recommend joining this group and viewing the ratings and comments. "
*ehow.com
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Adoption Announcements
Announcing the adoption of your child should be just like announcing a newborn baby....a chance to celebrate!! Make sure you send an email to Tammy at church tammy@pathwaycommunity.org after you bring your child home. This will place an announcement in the weekend bulletin. You must send it by Tuesday to be in the weekend bulletin, otherwise it will go in the following weekend. You may include:
*your name
*child's name
*birthdate
*birth country
*date with forever family
*address (for congrats cards)
You can consider sending out adoption announcements to family and friends, especially those that live farther away. My friend Jenn did these for us after Kate came home and they turned out AMAZING. I posted this previously on our personal blog, so our last name was covered for privacy.
*your name
*child's name
*birthdate
*birth country
*date with forever family
*address (for congrats cards)
You can consider sending out adoption announcements to family and friends, especially those that live farther away. My friend Jenn did these for us after Kate came home and they turned out AMAZING. I posted this previously on our personal blog, so our last name was covered for privacy.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
You Know Your An Adoptive Parent When...
I've come across this on several peoples' blogs and figure it would be great to post. Maybe you are someone contemplating adoption...does one of these points stand out to you? Pray about! Maybe God is leading you this gift of adoption. I knew when I used to bawl watching "Adoption Stories" show....I know it doesn't touch everyone like that and I already knew God was speaking to my heart.
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's 'real' parents.
7. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
8. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the world with a child you just met.
9. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
10. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
11. You know what the word 'Dossier' means, and you can actually pronounce it!
12. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
13. You have ever been 'pregnant' with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth. (2 years!)
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
-Author unknown
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's 'real' parents.
7. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
8. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the world with a child you just met.
9. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
10. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
11. You know what the word 'Dossier' means, and you can actually pronounce it!
12. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
13. You have ever been 'pregnant' with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth. (2 years!)
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
-Author unknown
Monday, January 25, 2010
To Adopt Or Not Adopt, That IS the Question
I seem to hear people ask a lot lately, "do I adopt?" and "how do I know if we should adopt?" and "is now the time to adopt?" I figured I would put my thoughts into a post.
Here are the steps we recommend you take:
1. Pray you hear ONLY God's voice
2. Pray that you and your spouse are united in this
3. Pray God will provide the right resources, people and funding
4. Read scripture about adoption
5. Read "Fields of the Fatherless" by C. Thomas Davis
6. Read educational websites on adoption on right side of this blog
7. Talk to others (True Vine members, families who have adopted)
8. Ask for support from your family
9. Contact Loving Shepherd to help you in this decision process
10. Start the process if/when you hear God's answer
I have adopted and it has been a very wonderful experience, so sure I would love to encourage lots of people to adopt. However, I know chosing adoption is a huge decision, there are ups and downs to adoption processes that you have to be prepared to handle, and adoption related issues are unique. The one thing I can advise is to listen to God's voice and you will hear. It is a feeling in your heart, a calling. It often defies logic and what others might think. Timing is also a key piece in adoption that only you and God know if it is right.
Here are parts of articles I found
"Adoption is not for everyone and it is important to ask yourself some questions before you decide whether adopting a child is for you. Firstly, are you emotionally, physically and financially capable of taking care of a child? Are you able to cope with any issues which they child may have - such as issues over being adopted and not being with their birth family (feelings of rejection by the birth family, etc.)? If you have other children are they ready to accept a new sibling through the process of adoption?In addition, if you are an older adoptive parent or have any health issues which affect your daily life then you may want to discuss the possibility of adoption to find out whether you would be able to cope with your health problems as well as a child. Adopting a child, however, can be a wonderful experience for people "
*from articlebase.com
"Thousands of children are adopted by U.S. citizens each year from many countries around the world. Families adopt for different reasons, some because of infertility, some because of the inability to adopt domestically, and others because they want to add a family member and they have the room, love, and finances to do so."
*from FTIA.org
Here are the steps we recommend you take:
1. Pray you hear ONLY God's voice
2. Pray that you and your spouse are united in this
3. Pray God will provide the right resources, people and funding
4. Read scripture about adoption
5. Read "Fields of the Fatherless" by C. Thomas Davis
6. Read educational websites on adoption on right side of this blog
7. Talk to others (True Vine members, families who have adopted)
8. Ask for support from your family
9. Contact Loving Shepherd to help you in this decision process
10. Start the process if/when you hear God's answer
I have adopted and it has been a very wonderful experience, so sure I would love to encourage lots of people to adopt. However, I know chosing adoption is a huge decision, there are ups and downs to adoption processes that you have to be prepared to handle, and adoption related issues are unique. The one thing I can advise is to listen to God's voice and you will hear. It is a feeling in your heart, a calling. It often defies logic and what others might think. Timing is also a key piece in adoption that only you and God know if it is right.
Here are parts of articles I found
"Adoption is not for everyone and it is important to ask yourself some questions before you decide whether adopting a child is for you. Firstly, are you emotionally, physically and financially capable of taking care of a child? Are you able to cope with any issues which they child may have - such as issues over being adopted and not being with their birth family (feelings of rejection by the birth family, etc.)? If you have other children are they ready to accept a new sibling through the process of adoption?In addition, if you are an older adoptive parent or have any health issues which affect your daily life then you may want to discuss the possibility of adoption to find out whether you would be able to cope with your health problems as well as a child. Adopting a child, however, can be a wonderful experience for people "
*from articlebase.com
"Thousands of children are adopted by U.S. citizens each year from many countries around the world. Families adopt for different reasons, some because of infertility, some because of the inability to adopt domestically, and others because they want to add a family member and they have the room, love, and finances to do so."
*from FTIA.org
"Adoption can be one of the most rewarding decisions you may make in your lifetime. However, prospective parents need to keep in mind that adopting a child is a lifelong commitment. You will be providing that child a life of love and security that he or she may not otherwise have the opportunity to enjoy. Adoption is a serious decision, and you need to be certain that it is indeed the right one for you."
*essortment.com
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Conference
On February 20 from 9am-12:30pm, there is a great conference in Normal, IL on adoption/orphan ministry. One of my blogger friends is a speaker at it.
http://www.connectingheartsconference.org/
http://www.connectingheartsconference.org/
Saturday, January 23, 2010
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