Pathway Extreme Home Makeover - Update

Sometimes, life doesn't go quite the way we planned.  Sometimes, bad things happen.  

We ask "why?"  We shake our fists at God.

But He always finds a way to work all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8:28).

Always.

Early last December, a Pathway family suffered an unimaginable loss.  Their three-year-old daughter Lilah, who had been adopted from Ethiopia, developed an infection that stole her life.  Since then, their home has been a place of sadness.  Haunted by memories of that day, the family has been struggling to find peace.

When they reached out to Pastor Ron and the True Vine team for prayer, we were able to pray for them...and more.

Through Care Ministries, Pathway was able to connect an amazing variety of generous volunteers to transform this home from a constant reminder of this family's loss into a space of incredible healing.

Housekeeping note:  With all the photos, this post is really long.  Don't miss the section at the end about the upcoming Phase 3, and your opportunity to serve!

Phase 1 - Maggie's Nursery

One of the first challenges facing the family was a room for their 15-month old daughter.  As an infant, her crib was in the master bedroom.  When she grew a little older, the plan had been to move her in with Lilah...over Christmas break.

With all the house's other bedrooms full, creating a space that could be uniquely Maggie's was the first priority of the Makeover team.  Five volunteers from True Vine descended on the home in early June to convert a den/home office into a room that Maggie could call her own.  And boy, did she!  An added benefit: a good night's sleep for Mom and Dad!

Phase 2 - The Rest Of The House

While getting some space for Maggie was the first step, the house was still filled with emotional triggers from the day Lilah died.  Memories lurked behind corners everywhere, and the house became an obstacle as the family struggled to heal.  

True Vine worked with them to make a wish list, and to prioritize projects into High, Medium, and Low, helping them form a long-term plan for home improvements and see hope for the future.

But we didn't stop there.  Through the extreme generosity of the Pathway body, funding was made available to take care of the high priority items, allowing Pathway to transform the areas of the house that needed it the most.

So after several weeks of planning and scouring Craigslist and many many many trips to Home Depot, a slightly bigger team stepped in to transform the home while the family was away.

Last weekend, 45 people dedicated their time and hard work to make a difference.  Forty-five!!

True Vine families.  Friends.  Neighbors.  Contractors.  Electricians. Plumbers. Cleaning Specialists.  Servants with a heart to do anything we set them to do without complaint.

Everything the house needed, God provided through the hands and feet and hearts of these people that stepped up and said "yes."

Through careful shopping and the generosity of additional funding, we were able to expand the scope of Phase 2 to include some additional high-impact touches, and get a jump-start on Phase 3...the family room!

The family returned home at about 8:00 Saturday evening to a transformed home.  

Overwhelmed by gratitude, they felt the Pathway community surrounding them with the peace and love that flooded them each time they stepped into a new room.

The evening was filled with tears of joy, and in the days since, as they've started to settle into their new space, they continue to reach out and share their thanks to the God who brought all this together to encourage and strengthen them.

It's not just a space that's been painted, or a room that's been redecorated.

Lives have been transformed.

Through this experience, a family trapped in pain and grief has been embraced by community.  They've discovered hope for the future, and a way to honor Lilah's memory rather than be haunted by her loss.  They've met friends and strengthened their support system.

And the volunteers have been changed, too.

Giving changes us.

Serving changes us.

Each time we shift our focus from our own priorities to serve others, we become a little more of what God meant for us to be.  We become the body of the living Christ.

....and we also have a lot of fun!  See for yourself:

The Living Room

This room was the highest priority for transformation; this room held the most difficult memories as the family waited for the ambulance and the EMTs fought for Lilah's life here.  The family truly needed a fresh start.  With calming color, fresh furniture, and a family photo tree, they can now heal and connect here. 

 

 

The Family Room - Part I

New flooring and some finishing touches will be coming in Phase 3...

Hanging photos

Lightening up the 70's cedar

The Dining Room

We've provided a larger workspace table in the relocated "office," which will allow the family to eat meals together at the dining table now!

Before

Repairing cracks and touching  up

After

After

The Master Retreat

Serving dual purpose as a nursery and a master bedroom, this area did not provide a restful area for the parents to reconnect as a couple.  By moving Maggie into her own room, and making a few small changes, the space has become a retreat for them to find a little peace.

Before

Before

Freshening up the Floor

The Boys' Bathroom

Before

Before

  

After

The Team and The Chaos

Special thanks to the amazing people that joined together to make this project possible.  With so much going on in different areas of the house at once, it was a little crazy at times, but the amount of work we got done over just 48 hours is truly a gift from God!

Everyone needs a toilet in their garage...

Phase 3 - Family Room and Basement

Again, through the amazing provision of God and generosity of the Pathway community, True Vine and Care Ministries have been able to add Phase 3 to the project, helping the family finish the transformation of their family room and basement spaces, providing them with more kid-friendly space to play and connect together.

In the next few weeks, we'll be updating the flooring in the family room to match the living room and hall, and we'll be updating the basement's 1970's paneling with new drywall.  When the pros are done with the heavy lifting, we'll have a few more opportunities to serve as we wrap up the painting, cleaning, and final decorating of these remaining spaces.

Please contact truevine@pccfw.org if you'd like to join us!

Pathway Extreme Home Makeover!

You don't have to travel all the way around the world to make a difference.  It only takes a few hours of your time to change the life of a hurting family.

It's Extreme Makeover -- Pathway Style.

Last December, a Pathway family experienced a shocking loss.  Their 3 year old daughter, adopted from Ethiopia, died suddenly.  An illness came on and within a day she was gone.  Now, as this family focuses on healing and finding a "new normal", Pathway is coming around them to help transform their home from a place filled with difficult memories to an environment of peace and grace.

From the afternoon of July 19th through the evening of July 21st, we will be doing a mini-extreme-makeover.  We will be painting, installing new flooring, repairing drywall, and doing light electrical work, light plumbing, and cleaning.

In order to bring a lot of hope in just a short time, we need your help!

We need a team of 22 people over two and half days to pull this off.  Please contact us to help, and also take a moment to share this opportunity with your small group or friends who have a heart for service.

No matter what your DIY experience, there's a place for you to serve!

We need:

1 - Drywaller (Drywall Repair)
1 - Vinyl Floor experience
1 - Plumber
2 - Laminate Floor
1 - General Construction
1 - Electrician
6 - Painters
3 - Cleaners
6 - General Labor & Runners (Run to get supplies or take supplies around the house)

As you see, there are many areas where your help can make the difference.

This is a time sensitive event and we have to 2 1/2 days to finish the work.  Commitment to the times mentioned will be key if we are to finish on time so the family can move back in after the big reveal.

Once again the dates are Thursday 3pm 7/19 - Saturday 6pm 7/21.

Please email truevine@pccfw.com with the following information if you are able to help.

Name
Contact Phone #
Dates and Times you can help
Area of work

Thanks and God Bless!!

New Post-Adoptive Parents' Support Group

Pathway is launching a new support group for post-adoptive parents.  

Hey, adoptive parents!

Remember all the support and encouragement you received from family and friends while you were waiting for your adoption to go through?  The anticipation when your family book was shown to a birthmother, or on the day your dossier shipped overseas?  The shower of gifts and cards, the welcoming party at the airport?

Then remember when life settled into "normal"?

For first time adoptive parents, that version of "normal" is sometimes a shock.  It can be even for veterans!

Author Jen Hatmaker puts it well:

For my friends who've brought their adopted children home and the media frenzy has died down, and you are holding a screaming toddler, a fragile kindergartener, an angry teen, trying to catch your breath and make it through the day without bawling while everyone else has gone back to their regularly scheduled programs...I'm with you today. 

Parenting an adopted child, whether infant or teenager or somewhere in between, can be hard.  Often, traditional parenting techniques not only don't work...sometimes they make things worse.

While we parents see them as an amazing gift and a blessing, the truth is that these kids come from difficult places.  They've been hurt.  They've been shuffled around.  They've been torn from the only mother they know. They've missed out on the safety and security that kids born "the old fashioned way" take for granted.

As adoptive parents, it's our commitment to provide them an environment where they can heal.  To help them process.  To keep them safe.

And sometimes, that's hard.

How do you figure out which battles to fight, and where to let things slide?

How do you prioritize connection and safety over schedule and behavior?

These things are HARD. 

To help us navigate these waters together, Pathway Community Church is launching a new support group for post-adoptive parents.

Using "Created to Connect, A Christian's Guide to The Connected Child," this group will provide a safe zone for adoptive parents to:

• share our struggles and encourage each other
• learn new ways to understand your child's reactions 
• support your child's healing process.

Each session, we'll offer discussion around a chapter of The Connected Child, but we'll also leave room for families to share challenges and ideas and experiences.  What worked, what didn't.  What we'd do differently if we had it to do over again...  What we do when we really don't know what to do at all...

The guide is founded on biblical truths as well as psychology and research. Adoptive parents of any faith are welcome; this is not an evangelical outreach, but one of support and safety and love.

* * *

Who should come:  Adoptive parents of any faith who need someone to talk to, and who want new tools to connect with their adopted child and create an emotionally safe environment to help them heal.

What is this:  Created to Connect Post-Adoptive Parents Support Group:  A guided study of The Connected Child by Dr. Karen Purvis conducted in a loosely structured, safe support environment for adoptive parents.

Where will we be:  Pathway Community Church - 11910 Shearwater Run, northwest Fort Wayne, near Lima and Carroll Road.  We will meet upstairs in the Studio 24 theater.

When will we be there:  7 - 8 PM (or as long as we need to be) on the second and fourth Thursday of every month, starting 22 March.

Why:  Created To Connect exists to serve and support adoptive parents in the Fort Wayne area, and provide a safe environment for them to share both struggles and triumphs and to learn new parenting strategies to connect with their children who have experienced difficult histories.

Questions:  email us at truevine@pccfw.org

Family Fun Night at the YMCA

Pathway adoptive and foster care families are invited to a FREE Family night at the Parkview YMCA. This is a time to spend connecting with one another and having fun as a family! 


Swimming, racquetball, basketball, the kids area and the game room will all be open and available! The event is free, and you do not need to be a member of the YMCA to attend. The Family Fun Night is sponsored by True Vine, an adoption Ministry of Pathway community Church and the Parkview YMCA.


Who: Families associated with Pathway's True Vine Ministry (orphan/adoption aid); and families of the global mission and local mission leadership teams. 

Where:  Parkview YMCA off of Dupont near Solomon Farm 

When:  Saturday, January 28, 2012; 8:00-10:00 p.m. 

Admission:  Free (includes use of the pool). 

No need to RSVP.  Just show up at the Parkview Y with your family.  


Parkview Family YMCA
10001 Dawsons Creek Blvd.
Fort Wayne, IN 46825

2011 Adoption Celebration

On Saturday, November 5th at 1 pm, STAR 88.3 presents the 13th Annual Adoption Celebration at Sonrise Church (10125 Illinois Road), hosted by Melissa Montana.

The event includes information on adoption, music, a slideshow featuring the adoptive families in attendence, and much more. Doors open at 12:30.

Prior to the program, you will have a chance to check out several adoption agencies with information booths. Entertainment (including face paint and balloon animals) will be provided by Sweetcakes Entertainment.

Following the program, there will be snacks for all to enjoy during a time of fellowship. The information booths will also reopen at this time for another chance to learn more.

This event is perfect for anyone considering adoption and adoptive families. Join us for a night of fun, fellowship, and family!

* * * * *

In addition to celebrating adoptive families in northeastern Indiana, each year, Melissa takes a collection to help an adoptive family. This year, the collection will go to help a Pathway Family.

The money received will be placed in Pathway's True Vine Life Song account to be distributed as matching grants to our families who are adopting.

Pre-adoptive families should note that we do have monies available to Pathway families who would like to apply for matching grants.  Contact us for the Pathway LifeSong Application.

Together for Adoption Chicago

Designed for anyone who is called to love and care for the orphan, the Together for Adoption Chicago conference is coming up next month.

Registration is only $15 for a full-day conference, and includes lunch!  Register now at www.chicagoadoption.org

Book Review: Adopt Without Debt by Julie Gumm

"There is not one example in the Bible of God calling someone to do something and then using debt as a tool to accomplish it." - Dave Ramsey

These words slammed Julie Gumm in 2007, just as she and her husband Mark embarked on a journey to adopt a sibling pair, aged six and eight from Ethiopia.

The gazelle-intensity learned in Financial Peace University provided Julie and Mark the practical foundation for living debt-free and financial freedom to serve others. With these tools and faith in God's provision, Julie and Mark committed to adopt their children without borrowing a penny.

The first two questions asked by any prospective adoptive parent are "where do I start?" and "how much will it cost?"...the unfortunate truth is that with the market tanking and our national credit rating taking a hit, finances are a real challenge in our society. Our personal financial situation impacts our sense of freedom to follow God's calling, but our God is HUGE and He will partner with us to provide when we commit to doing things His way.

Julie tells a story of just that. Gazelle intensity and hard work brought Julie and Mark out of a debt that, if left to grow, would have held them back from the future plans God had for them. Once their slavery to debt was cut free, God provided ministry opportunities to Julie and Mark that reduced their family income dramatically. Still, they heard his call to adopt and knew that He would provide.

But Julie doesn't stop with just sharing her story. Much of her book is dedicated to teaching about finding grants and maximizing the money gained from selling your "stuff." Further, Julie shares step-by-step guides to holding fundraisers and engaging your wider community of family and friends to help in creative ways.

With this engaging book, Julie has destroyed the excuse of "it costs too much to adopt." God calls us to care for the widow and the orphan. While He's unlikely to airdrop a pallet of cash in the back yard, He provides by sharing battle plans through people like Julie.

Adoption can be expensive, but it doesn't have to lead to debt. Julie and Mark Gumm's story is proof, and her easy-to-read, practical advice will help any family achieve their own commitment to a debt-free adoption.

Pathway families can borrow a copy of Adopt Without Debt from the True Vine Lending Library. To order your own copy, or to learn more about Julie and her adoption journey, visit her blog here.