How To Start the Adoption Process

So you've decided you are ready to adopt and have no idea where to start? Trust me, you are not alone. There are so many resources, choices to be made that it can be overwhelming.

Loving Shepherd offers a FREE service to help you narrow down your choices and get started. Also note websites on the right, especially How to Adopt.
http://www.loving-shepherd.com/adoption-services.html

The next part here is my personal opinion, so take it for face value.
1. Pray. That is the single biggest thing that helped us decide that adoption was right for our family, obtain guidance, gain strength when we were at our lowest, and place blind faith. Know that you can rely on God, and only God.

2. Adoption friends. Reach out to others. I know Joel was skeptical when I joined an online forum, made a blog and made contact with other bloggers. You decide how much personal information you devulge. I am thankful for the forums, as they kept me up to speed, when I couldn't get answers. Yes, you have to read things with a grain of salt, but there are a lot of good resources. Making my own blog allowed me to reach out to others and vice versa. Remember what you post is PUBLIC and that you never know who reads it. The people that I connected with who were also adopting from the same orphanage helped provide me with a lot of sanity. We answered each others questions, lended support and could ask questions privately. Find out if the agency has stipulations regarding contact with other adoptive families or contact with others who are visiting the orphanage, and be skeptical if they discourage this.

3. Research. Make sure you are confident in the country and agency you choose. Post questions anywhere you can, to get feedback privately. Check the Better Business Bureau. Check with the Attorney General to see if there are any complaints filed. There are Adoption Agency Rating sites that provide feedback on what others think. Yes, there will always be complaints, but look for red flags. Remember that you are not only looking at the way the agency handled adoptions in the past, but those in process as well. Agencies may change over time, in the way they handle cases, especially if changes come down the pipeline. Spend a lot of time on the phone with the agency asking questions...do they answer just your questions or provide extra info. Ask to speak to the adoption coordinators...does it feel like a good match? Remember, these are the people who will be doing the legwork and going to bat for you. If you chose international adoption, keep in mind that you should also research the orphanage and lawyer, in addition to the agency. Sometimes agencies use multiple lawyers and not all are good and efficient. What are the ratios in the orphanage, how often are they bathed and clothes changed, what is the diet, are they touched, talked to and sung to?

4. Expectations. Make you needs known up front. Tell the agency and coordinator what your expectations of them are. Are they able to be in complete agreement? Will they follow through on what they say they are going to do? ("I will email today" or "I will give you a call tonight" and actually do it)

5. Integrity. Expect TRANSPARENCY! Is the agency willing to provide receipts of transactions with dates? Honesty through every step of the way should be mandatory, whether it is medications given to your child, what is fed to your child, vacinnations, dates of steps in the process, or anything else. If things are not done when they are supposed to be, you should be told that. If things are lost, you should be told that. Yes, we are all human and make mistakes, but I believe in owning up to what you have done, not ignoring or lying. You have every single right as the adoptive parent to call and check on the status of your case when you are able to call a government or outside source, when information is made public. Make sure that they don't object to you researching things for your own case - you are in this together. You have every right to question something and the agency should feel confident enough in who they are to discuss it.

6. Communication. This is the key...what is the turn-around time for questions? Will they handle problems or questions on the weekends and evenings? Is this their only job....do they have the time to provide to just their adoption cases? What is the time difference between you and the the coordinators...remember this does play a factor in getting resolution.

7. Paperwork. You should have an agency that will walk you through line by line how to fill out initial paperwork, paperwork during the process and final paperwork. Do they provide written examples of this? You should not have to ask other adoptive parents how to fill out paperwork, as your agency should know how to help you, and be proactive in assisting you with this. Do they or a liason stay with you at the appointments in country at the end, or just drop you off?

8. Updates. How will you find out progress on your case, as well as updates on your child? Make sure there is a scheduled day each week or every other week in which there is some type of summary on your case...news or no news. You should never have to ask for summaries, they should be given. It is their job to keep you up to speed. If they don't know the answer, it is their job to find out and to represent YOU (not just the lawyers) when problems do arise....tell them up front what you expect. One way that some agencies provide timely updates is to post information on the case as soon it is done on a secure website that you have a personal ID and can obtain. Each person is then able to log on 100 times a day if they want to check the status of their own personal case (vs updates being done in groups at a time, which is time-delayed).

9. Contracts. Don't sign them unless everything is specifically spelled out - visits, pick-up trips, additional expenses, obtaining outside help, etc. Never pay a bill unless you receive an invoice and make sure you receive a receipt. Are they upfront about the exact breakdown of costs or do they avoid this question?

10. the End. Do they call to follow-up how your appointment in country went, or if your child is sick on pick-up trip or when you get home? A reputable agency will not leave you hanging, but will follow-up out of concern and welfare for the child and adoptive parents. Do they have a social worker on staff from start to finish or least have the resources to help you if you need assistance with the transition? This tells you a lot about the kind of people you are dealing with.

Yes, you have to be demanding and pushy at times. You are your child's advocate and hopefully you will pick an agency that encourages this belief. You need people who recognize that every single day that you miss from your child's life is precious. Yes, timing is in God's hands, but your agency and/or lawyers have the ability to change this time line.

Here are parts of articles I found

"You are now able to love another child (perhaps your first) and are able to provide that child with a better future. So how do you go about it, if you have decided to adopt a child?The child adoption process varies depending on the type of adoption you are going for as well as your home country and/or the country where you will be adopting a child from. In general though you need to begin by asking yourself what type of adoption you are going to go for - domestic or international? Older child or infant adoption?Once you have decided on the type of adoption the next thing is to find an adoption agency. There are a number of websites on the internet that have listings of child adoption agencies for both domestic and international adoption. Phone or visit a couple of these agencies and if possible attend any orientation courses they may be running.Once you have chosen your agency, filled in the application form and paid the required fee, your counselor or social worker will guide you through the whole child adoption procedure. This will include a number of interviews, home studies, and medical and criminal record checks. The length of this process will depend on the type of adoption you have chosen and your counselor will be able to give you more information about this.In conclusion, child adoption is not for everyone and before deciding to adopt it is important that you honestly answer some questions about your ability to look after this child. If you do decide to adopt however it can be a wonderful experience and truly benefit all involved. If you decide to adopt you should start by deciding what kind of adoption you want to go for and then finding an adoption agency that will guide you through the whole child adoption procedure. This process can take anything from a number of months to a number of years and includes paperwork, home studies and interviews. Your adoption agency will be able to help you through this whole process."
*articlebase.com

"There are several different ways that parents can adopt, and these include international adoptions, domestic adoptions, and foster care adoptions. All of these adoptions have positive and negative points. Adoptions can be handled by a public or private agency, an adoption lawyer, or an adoption facilitator. If you are seeking to adopt a child through an agency, it is very important that you check out their credentials as thoroughly as possible. You can check with the Better Business Bureau, and you can also make sure they are a licensed facility. You should also ask for references and contacts of parents who have successfully adopted a child. A public agency will likely be involved if the child you are seeking to adopt is a foster child. There may be public funds available to help you with some of the legal fees. If you think you might want to adopt, you may want to consider becoming a foster parent at first. You may even be able to request a child who may have a serious possibility of being adoptable. Private adoption agencies will typically cost more money. Many of these agencies have set criteria as to the qualifications of an adoptive parent. It is becoming more common to allow a single person to adopt a child, though. The priority of the adoption agency should be the care and well-being of the child. Again, you will need to check out the agency’s credentials and reputation. You will want to determine how much money is needed up front. You will also want to find out what happens to the money you have already spent if something goes wrong with the adoption. A private adoption is usually handled through a private adoption lawyer. There can be a wide variety of costs involved, depending on several factors. Obviously, in addition to the money you spend on the mother’s medical and/or living expenses, you will also have to pay attorney fees and court costs. The total amount of money needed should be itemized and agreed upon in writing before an agreement is reached. If you are interested in an international adoption, you will probably want to use an international adoption agency. They should be familiar with the laws of each country where an adoption may take place. The process can take longer, and often the child is a toddler or older before she can legally be placed with the adoptive parents. Once the adoption has taken place, however, and you have left the country with your child, any other legal problems should be few. If you adopt a child in the United States, you can opt for an open or closed adoption. An open adoption means that you and the birth parent can keep in contact as the child grows. You can decide how little or how much contact, usually. A closed adoption means that the records are sealed, and there is little or no contact between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. Adoption can be a long, expensive, and sometimes a frustrating process. If you really desire to give a child a home, however, adoption can be a wonderful choice for both you and your child."
*essortment.com

"Step 1
Embrace Adoption: Many people enter into adoption quickly following the disappointment of infertility. Give yourself time to be in a place where adoption feels like the BEST option, not second best.
Step 2
Do the Busy Work Ahead of Time: If you eventually decide to adopt, any adoption will require all sorts of vital records in triplicate. Frequently, obtaining these records can hold up the approval process down the road. So, during your investigation period, go ahead and obtain THREE STATE CERTIFIED copies of your and your partner's birth certificates, marriage/civil union certificates, divorce decrees. Get together copies of you and your partner's 1040 forms and W-2s for the previous 3 years. Also, make appointments for checkups for the whole family. Pay any outstanding traffic and parking tickets, and make sure your driving records are clear. There will be other paperwork down the road, but these are the things you can do right away.
Step 3
Educate Yourself: There are more options in adopting than many folks realize. Foster parenting, agency adoption, private placement adoption, international adoption: each is a distinct option with distinct pros and cons. A GREAT book that simplifies these options is Randall Hicks' "Adopting in America."
Step 4
Find A Great Home Study Social Worker: All adoptions (other than some foster parenting programs) require an independent home study by a licensed social worker in YOUR STATE. This is a process which takes several months, and comprises a thorough background check, personal references, and several visits from the social worker. The social worker will also help you to discuss which kind of adoption would work the best for your family. The social worker will also give you the option to attend seminars that will teach you more about adoption and meet other families. For a directory of social workers to perform your home study, visit http://directory.adoption.com/.
Step 5
Choose Without Judgment: You will eventually pick which type of adoption is best: infant or older child, domestic or international, transracial or special needs, etc. Once you determine which is best for you, let go of the judgments you may have about which one you "should" do. There is no right kind of adoption, only the right kind for you. If it's right for you, it will be right for your child.
Step 6
If You Choose Private Placement: First locate a certified adoption attorney at http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/member_directory.htm. They and the social worker will review with you the safe options for finding a birthfamily and completing the adoption process. Talk with the lawyer and social worker about finding someone BEFORE considering paying a placement agency a big fee to place you with a baby.
Step 7
If You Choose Foster Care: This is generally done completely through your state/county's foster care program. The foster care system has its own home study process (they still need that paperwork!), and will work with you to place you with the right child for your family. If finances are top of mind for you, foster care is the most economical choice.
Step 8
If You Choose Agency Adoption: This is an adoption type where the family has relinquished the child for adoption to your social worker's agency, and your social worker then can place them with you. Your social worker will have more information for you about these waiting children. This is different from foster care where the children are relinquished to a state selected foster home, and you work with the state/county agency. In this case, your independent agency is the "agent" for the child, and sometimes their parents, and different regulations may apply.
Step 9
If You Choose International Adoption: You will need to locate an agency that specializes in the country you intend to adopt from. This agency need not be in your state. They will work with your social worker to get the paperwork together. There is a great Yahoo! group where families have rated agencies that have assisted them with international adoptions. I wholeheartedly recommend joining this group and viewing the ratings and comments. "
*ehow.com